I’m attracted to psychopathic bosses

 The root of all evil is abuse of power – Patricia Cornwell

I know there are many talented applicants in the market so never consider myself as the “super-class” / irreplaceable employee.  But after work with numerous people who work at similar positions as I have, I really have confident to rate myself as a valuable staff and can make positive contribution to many companies.  People who take senior positions or earning high salary simply because they stay at same position very long.

Where are good / reasonable boss?

Got few job offers lately but sadly I was either kicked out or make my own decision to quit.   From time to time, I doubt if I expect too much.  Not mentioning the job responsibilities or never ended working hours, many bosses I reported to were narcissism or even can be classified as psychopath.  I always feel it’s easy to deal with daily routines than handling all sorts of abusive/non-sense/BS and offensive behaviors.  I hate to say this but it looks like people are not as kind/considerate as it used to be.  Not expecting a saint, but it’s kind of difficult to find a reasonable or someone I do respect to work with nowadays.  It seems that not too many bosses understand the way they treat their staffs, will end up lead them to success / failure.

For example, the one I just quit last week : She is a mean and old woman, with terrible personality that make over 50 staffs resigned from the company for the last year.  I was alerted when I knew over 20 staffs were taking my position, not sure what happened or the truth, but once I start to work with her, I noticed her abusive/narcissistic behaviors.  Totally a torture!  She kept on complaining this and that, e.g. wondering why she can’t good staff.  Seems that she never reflect herself from the past as she is the one who should blamed for.

Glad I do have some knowledge of psychopaths/narcissistic absorbed via numerous blogs/articles/podcasts over years due to my abused family background.  The moment I met this old lady boss, I knew somethings wrong but not sure how to address in words.  During the whole interview, she spent 90% of the time to complain/black-mouth her staffs, how bad and stupid they are, lack of responsibilities etc. etc.  At the surface, she acted politely, nicely and reasonably so I guess her explanations has points, until I worked with her.

Being Mean

She is not a bad person I assume, who proudly claim herself as christian.  But according to my experience in just 4 days :  I witness how she re-act extremely sensitive to very small stuffs, always scream, scold and humiliate staff for minor mistakes, or even there are many times it’s not the fault of staffs, but she simply look for a target to scold at.  She never use foul language but her speech is so hash/sarcastic/rude, verbally abuse us so we no longer feel motivated to perform well.  We learned to keep quiet, stay alert like walking on the eggshell all the times.

Gossip Queen

Another huge flaw of her is love to talk bad behind people.   First of all, from 9:00-7:00 everyday, she seems never feel happy for anything or anyone.  Anything happen will become a tragedy in her eyes;  anyone who stand in front of her or raise up any ideas/opinions will become her target to scold with.  Then she loves to gossip person A in front of person B, then gossip person B in front of person A.  Her habit confused me a lot as I don’t know when is she telling the truth or if she can be trusted.  The one who talk people bad in front of me, I can guarantee she/he will do the same in front of others about me.  That scare me!

I started to feel headache whenever I met her as she is the one who always interrupt my work for non-sense critics/judgments about others.  This attitude also create many mistrust among colleagues because we never know who will betray who, in order to gain the attention/benefit from the boss.

Look at me, I’m so Great!

She also an arrogant/selfish person.  Always disturb us from routines to hear her success/greatness : e.g. how she never as a staff because the first day she walk in the market is boss already; how her company/reputation is so famous that attracted so many big brands; how she never wear the same cloth everyday, how success / high educated of her friends are, etc. etc. bragging and bragging….. I was so tired of hearing her boast.

Useless meetings

She loves meetings!! What major points to be discussed is basically how bad for a staff (scapegoat) at certain situation..  That’s my second day at work so I just sat quietly and nodes occasionally without inputs.  Whole situation is extremely unprofessional and waste of time/resources.  We can actually work effectively with this 2 hours’ waste.  This pattern is common and used to have TWO meetings every week because she loves to share her FEELINGS and non-sense opinions from time to time.  That’s the reason for our overtime work.

And because of her big ego, she never admit her own mistakes.  I never want to finger point any wrong doers but it’s exhausted to deal with blames that was not belongs to myself all the times.   That’s suck!

What I learned

If I want to succeed, I need to surround myself with people I admire and the environment must be align with my goal.  I must be humble, willing to listen others’ opinions so I can improve continuously.

I found my self-esteem is actually improving.  If all these happening 5 years ago, I will simply accept my situation and don’t know how to get out of the trap.  Not saying I reach the best but at least I acknowledge the problem and give myself other choice.  I am more conscious nowadays to set health boundaries and choose my environment.  There’s a saying “We are the average of 5 people we hang around with”.

Photo credit : Unsplash – by Rayi Christian Wicaksono


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