Are you a victim of your habits?

 We are what we repeatedly do,

Excellence therefore is not an act but a habit. ~ Aristotle

I used to have habit listing out resolutions to motivate myself have a prosperous / meaningful year.  Don’t do this anymore since I found myself kept on dropping behind or forgot them completely months later.

Instead, installed a countdown mobile apps to remind myself how many days I’ve left until certain deadline, and how many years I’ve left in life.  This gesture do give me some pressure as it constantly alert me how little times I have left to fulfill my dreams and do whatever I want to.

Especially when I heard news from friends/acquaintance who got married, have kids, work in big project, travel around the world or work abroad etc.  Seems like everyone is accomplish something continuously except me, who repeat the same old thing and stuck under same old circumstances.  This urge me to push myself  “I got to do something” by changing my old habits / strategies.

Try new things, take new challenge

I love to explore and observe but at certain level, I’m an introvert, always do the same thing to keep myself have some routine.  This ease my tension and give me some guidance while dealing with life chaos.  Guess grab this habit since young as I need certain level of “stable”, something I can control while dealing with my unstable emotion and toxic environment.

But I start to realize the repeated consequences of my behaviors and importance of putting myself out of comfort zone more frequently, which can offer me some new insights / perspectives.

I tried, though not always succeed because many of my behaviors become an automatic reflected response.  But I’m more conscious to make different choices from my daily routines, e.g. eat at different restaurant, take a different route to work. Sometimes it makes me feel uncomfortable to awkward to adjust but I know it’s necessary for my self-growth.

Say “Yes” more

I found myself reject potential opportunities often due to my self-doubts, limited beliefs : accepted underpaid and lower rank job position because I was not feeling I’m worth it.

From now on, I should give myself more chances, more open to possibilities as I never know what if I say yes.  The worst scenario is I fail like an idiot, but it’s also probably a great chance for me reaching upper level.  “It’s not about how we fail, but how we bounce back after failure”.

Stop Procrastination

I never have problems acquiring knowledge / wisdom via books / online platforms etc. This however put me into a mode of procrastination, always afraid to make a start so the best excuse is I’m not ready yet.

Continuous learning is good but if I start to understand the motto of “knowledge is not the king, until I applied it”. I can always sharping / adjust my understandings along practices.  Tried to set a limit of my time / energy to simply learning but start to put effort in actual doing.

All-or-nothing mentality

Perfectionism.  I can spend 100+ hours to finish an assignment because I thought I must finish all books on the shelf for a final perfect answer, otherwise my paper was not good enough.  This devastated used-to-be habit forced me spending lots and lots of time to do 1 thing but forgot other 99 things that need to be accomplished.

Similar to my exercise regime, when I skipped 1 day / 1 meal, which was not as my initial plan, then I will beat myself up, felt uncomfortable and eventually drop the whole plan off.  I felt disappointed for myself, or thought it’s not worth to go to gym even it’ just 30 minutes.

Still tough until now but I’m more alert to my decision.  Sometimes manage to persuade myself to complete a task even though it’s not end up as original planned.  I learned to comfort myself that every tiny bits of efforts is counted, and stop sticking to certain thing for too long then ignore other also important tasks.

Emotional intelligence

Normally don’t project my emotions to others, e.g. yelling, but swallow emotions internally.  My performance and motivation always lead by emotional status at certain moment.  When emotion overwhelmed, I can give up things easily, run away or hide myself like a ostrich.

When things getting tough or out of my control, e.g. toxic working environment – I resigned so I never learn / practice how to deal with difficult people.  Noted it become a cycle of my life, kept on bumping into same situation, sadly I manage with same technique and response, no doubt results are all the same.

Dong the same thing over and over again expecting different results is insane – Albert Einstein

It is necessary to learn being true / honest to my feelings but at the same time learning how to handle chaos without dragging myself into “double harm” zone repeatedly is also important.

Closing thoughts

If times can go back, these are advice I will give to aged 18 ME.  I’m sick and tired of being same old ME.  I found myself not happy at my current status, got to make some dramatic changes.

Do you have habits that drag you down? Any good habits that lift you up?

Photo credit : Pixabay – Bessi


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