Psychology # 9 – Toxic Relationship

 

Stop letting people who do too little for you – control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions

– Will Smith

 

 

Many abused child who raised in dysfunctional / toxic family, like me, are not able to aware toxic family system.

 

This is what we get used to : chaos, abused, bullied, neglect, either physically or emotionally, even though when adults of abusive family survived and manage to stumble upon adulthood, but many of us still stuck at unhealthy mindset / behaviors.

 

Some of us acknowledge the challenge but don’t know how to get out from the crap; others may even don’t realize the effects on them, so when you don’t see the problem, you can never know the problem need to be fixed.

 

Many people don’t understand why victims keep on attracting or tolerate abusers / narcissists continuously into their lives.

 

Can’t explain all cases but according to my own experiences, I would say many of us are not conscious of our choices, it might because the loneliness or naive.

 

Many seem uncomfortable to hang around with people who are sweet, nice, kind or treat us well with respect, sadly this is not what we accustomed to when we were young, we are so afraid or subconsciously we don’t believe we deserve to be loved.

 

That’s why many professionals said it can easily take a whole life to heal simply few minutes or one incident of trauma.

 

Do you agree? Please share your comments or share this post to increase pubic awareness.

 

 

 

 

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11 thoughts on “Psychology # 9 – Toxic Relationship”

  1. You may well be a mind reader! My husband and I talked at length last night about this very subject. It was not until I got away from my family that I realized how their toxicity affected every choice I made but was completely unaware of the power they had over me AND that my choices were never my own. It was not until a year later after being away from all of them that I am regaining my own identity and making choices not based on a manipulated mind!

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    1. Bethanyk, I’m not a mind reader but simply according to my experience and observation. It took me years to digest everything like an outsider. But first of all we need to distant ourselves from dysfunctional so we have space to rethink the whole situation. It’s not easy, both of us should know, it’s a trauma for any child learn to detach from their biological family. But as soon as I read many articles / advice from experts, I knew sometimes we just not healthy to stay stuck in certain environment. thanks for your comment.

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      1. Yes, totally agree. As soon as we distance ourself we can regroup. It’s imperative! I knew you werent reading my mind😊 But kately yiu post things as I am pondering them myself. Such is the path to healing!

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  2. i partially agree with that. While it is true that as victims of childhood abuse we do meet disordered people more often, i have witnessed more than once my narcissistic mother targeting all kinds of people: empathetic/cluster b’s/younger/older/superiors/friends. It has to do with her and if she holds a grudge against the person or has to gain something from (fakely) befriending her. Of course it’s good to keep our eyes open for orc encounters, but in the end of the day it’s a limiting belief to think that you have the loon-magnet: anyone can be targeted.

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    1. Revengestar, thanks for your comment, I’m not saying that this is a “must” formula but a tendency. Sure there are people like you so conscious and wiser enough to distant yourself from toxic relationship. But I believe there are other survivors tend to draw attraction to people that familiar to their childhood environment.

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      1. i felt the need to mention that because when you feel that you have the narcissist magnet is something that affect your self esteem and ability to form new relationships. I have noticed that most people who survive narcissistic abuse don’t have any faith in themselves and that can be a factor that keeps them stuck/trapped.

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