This is a very common attribution, happens not only in abusive stories but all kinds of incidents at work / in public.
People tend to blame the victims and that’s why make it difficult for survivors to speak up or stand up for themselves. Lack of supports and misunderstandings make victims take all responsibilities of abuse on their own hands.
The worst, after the abuse, survivors are those who need to forgive and forget even though it’s impossible in many of cases. Once again we put extra burden on their shoulders and give permissions for abusers to escape from their faults, saying something like, well…he / she didn’t mean to do this. That’s terrible.
Have you ever behave in similar way? Please comment and share this post so more people aware what’s our unconscious behavior lead us to.