Freedom – Gold nuggets for entrepreneur


I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery – Thomas Jefferson



My Facebook account is extremely secret and highly personal.  But “you may know this person” notification caught my attention yesterday – a workaholic / devoted top executive who earned lots of money at a well-known international corporate.


Not a stalker, but my curiosity lead me to browse their timeline quickly…..They look different, especially the one who’s used to serious about his career, now he is brave enough to quit his high-pay & professional job, no need to care about hair dying so look a bit old (all white hair) than I met him 3 years ago.


What made him so different? I asked myself…..Oh, yeah….he looked happier, funnier and relax, can see the youth rise up from his spirit, he seems so happy, free and having great fun while travelling around the world now.  Though we no longer kept contact for long but I’m so honestly happy to see his happiness from photos / messages he share.



Freedom is stem from heart, not physically



It’s 5am now and I’m writing this blog.   Wow…it’s been 10 months+ since the last time I posted.  Time fly SO FAST!  I was exhausted and tied up with stress / tasks to follow up…. this and that from work and life.


Almost a week since I quit – mentally so FREE.  In the past, of course even had career break from time to time, now I acknowledge it’s might be an excuse for me to escape from “being stuck”.  Deep down I knew sooner or later I would back to work market.


Now, the feeling is very different.  I’m also very busy to plan / learn and organize like working at office from early morning to late night.


I no longer feel motivated to stuck at work cubicle, even though I knew there will have no problems for me to work at such a non-fulfilling position forever.


Recent year, I kept on asking myself : is it what I really want? what if I step out my comfort zone? what’s the worst scenario?


Sum Up


When I looked at my ex-boss, kept on asking myself : am I willing to become that person or having the same life like her? Answer : No.  What if tomorrow or in 3 months I will die, is it the life I want to end? Answer : No.



How about you? Have you ever X-Ray your life having now? Is it what you hungry for? Are you happy with what you have right now? Touch wood if you know you only have 3 months left, are you willing to do something different?




Photo credit : Pixabay – Stevebidmead

Entrepreneur make every minute counts



You can always make more money, but cannot make more time.



When I was an employee, be honest I did wander here and there, bits by bits of time during work, chit chat, wandering around, not serious as I basically a hardworking and devoted staff.  But simply feel it’s the time of my company / employer and I didn’t owe it. So if I’m not doing something valuable to the company, well….it’s their lost.


But since I start my “be my own boss” journey.  I never ever be so conscious of my time like in the past.  Because now it’s actually my time.  If I waste it on something useless, e.g. day dream, watching TV,at the same time I lost the time to build up my business or developing myself.


When I was employed, I felt tired after or even in the middle at work, but now I am building something for my own, though still feel tired but I’m more willing to suffer, squeeze every minute to make the most of my limited time everyday.  Though I’m still exhausted every night but deep down I’m fulfilled because now I own everything : time, ideas, results.



Sum Up


Not only for entrepreneur, but everybody, the older we are – the more alert we have about time.


My situation is much complicated, also as a abused survivor, my childhood was stolen, filled with foggy / sad memories.  After that, it took me years to figure out what’s happened and heal the wounds.  Sometimes, I’m frustrated for all those unconscious years I lost and trapped.  Wish I can wake up much earlier to earn my life back.


Invest your time wisely!  Don’t waste your precious life on something that not meaningful to you, or not align with your core value.


I know it’s easier said than done.  But try not to care what others think about you,simply take back the control of your life.


Try your best to use your time that can benefit to your own good.  Life is short. Every minute counts. You can never take back the minute that just pasted.



Photo credit : Pixabay

You spend all your energies to build others’ dreams?


Life is Short!  Many people know it but seldom we conscious of how we spend every minute of our lives.


I regret totally!


As a hard working, diligent employee.  Sadly to mention after worked my ass off for 8 months+ at my last job, the thought of “wasting my life” came to my mind often in recent days.


This is the life of employment.  No matter how hard we work, we are using all our energies / lives / wisdom to help someone to build his / her wealth / kingdom / lives and dreams.  It never is my own assets / pride.


Now I finally realize it’s suck to have a feeling that I owe nothing after years of employment.  Of course I did earn lots of experiences / skills and enough money to survive, but is it what I want for my lives?


Sum Up


If you are contented with what you are doing now at work.  It’s wonderful!  But if you back home every night after a long tired work day, feeling empty inside and wondering if this is the life you want….well, you better take a serious reality check for yourself.


Life is short.  Yesterday watched a nice youtube video How to make more than a harvard MBA – the happiness equation by Neil Pasricha, totally agreed the philosophy : many people happy for what they earn according to monthly pay-check, but when we count it according to hourly rate, many of us are actually underpaid.  There are many hidden overtime / afterwork follow ups.


Many of my ex-colleagues / ex-bosses shocked when they found I’m not willing to work overtime.  I was judged as lazy or not devoted.  It’s very weird and out of the norm especially my culture is always appreciate those who put work at first life priority.


It’s difficult for me to explain my understanding of paycheck.  I care and respect my expertise / skills / experience, so never want to do any work for free or extremely underpaid.  Sorry.


So are you building other people’s dreams?



Photo credit : Pixabay



3 Signs that you are Entrepreneur


The True Entrepreneur is a Doer, not a Dreamer – Nolan Bushnell



Well…I know it’s kind of weird to write blogs about business / entrepreneur here.  I have been thinking about to separate this series in a different blog, but eventually would like to make it happen it.


Because I want people get to know me as a whole person, there are ups and downs, abusive background but at the same time I would like to make my life become better, no matter what happened to me in the past and the challenges I am having from time to time, due to the self-limiting beliefs and other self-sabotage habits that I gained / learned since young.


Start a 100 Day challenge of Start-up Entrepreneur for myself, would like to jot down my whole start-up journey.  This make me stay alive and alert about the process.



For long, I have never think about to be my own boss, but the longer I work the stronger feeling I have….I might the type of person who is “unemployable”.



Sign 1 : You are Independent


I am very independent.  Guess it’s because the abusive / dysfunctional family background, this make me learn to survive by my own since early age.  I learned to take care of myself without much support from family members.  This is one of the reason I pick up reading since young because there are so many things that I don’t know and how to manage.


No joking, I even went to library to grab all the well-known / famous books relating to parenting and how to raise a successful / confident kids etc.  I dived into the books not only because this is one of the ways I can shut myself down, stay away from troubles, but also I was hungry to learn how to become a better person even though I didn’t have a supportive/normal parents.


This independence make many bosses found challenges to work with me.   Those who are open-minded and flexible are fine with me, but whenever I worked with bosses who are close-minded, fixed, control and micro-management etc.  They just hate me and put me in great troubles.



Sign 2 – You are Rebellious


No doubt I’m having troubles to trust and have close relationship with others.  But I am not naive, over the years, I worked with many smart persons and explore the world quite a bit, books / podcasts / seminars etc. do change my perspectives greatly from time to time.


When I was young, I rely on family and parents, but I think deep down I’m a rebellious person, hate to follow orders or conform to BS / non-sense, especially if I found it’s not align with my beliefs or understandings.


I challenge authorities continuously.  This again make those who are manipulated or know-it-all personalities go crazy when they found that I don’t buy their BS.



Sign 3 – You are evolving continuously


If you are the type of person who feel extremely comfortable to stay in the comfort zone. Then you will doing fine at many of the jobs.  But if you are like me, always hungry to learn and discover more, strive to become better day by day.  Then sooner or later, you will feel boring and lack of fulfillment at work.


Unless you are working at creative industry, which require changes frequently, otherwise majority of business / industry may drag you down after you service a period of time.


Because of your drive / motivation to grow, you are no longer as the same person you were when the 1st day you join the company.  You keep on evolving and when the company / position stay at the same dynamic.  This will drive you nuts.  You no longer feel exciting to go to work every day because you found yourself keep on repeating the same old thing day by day.



Sum Up


I’m not saying that it’s bad to work with others, but I do eventually discover that there are certain types of people just “unemployable”.  They are doing terrible to report to others but doing great when they manage their lives and be their own boss.


If you are happy with what you are doing now.  Good for you!  But if you found 3 above-mentioned symptoms, you may better sit down and have a honest check for yourselves.


I learned it a tough way, many conflicts and unhappiness at work, job-hopping from time to time, there were times I blame myself for being not tolerant with the situation like others, what’s wrong with me? But now I start to realize it’s not the job / situation, but probably because of my own characters.


It’s probably happen to many other abuse survivor, we have many self-doubts for ourselves, we don’t believe we can actually make things happen.  So many of us choose to follow the norm and accept all the chaos throw to us.  Until one day, we finally feel…this is it, enough is enough.  Time to take charge of our own lives.




Photo credit : Pixabay







Are you suffering from “Not good enough syndrome”?

If you don’t believe in yourself, Why should anyone else?



Again, quit my job after 8 months service, Friday is my last day.  Over years, worked with many people / bosses in various industries / companies.   Differently, this time having much clarity and determined : feeling it might be the last employment in my life.


Thought about being my own boss long time ago but never take it serious.  As an abuse survivor from dysfunctional family, many self-doubts / fears piled up since young.  It took me years to accept, unlearn, relearn to bounce back for my own life.



Independent. Motivated. Organized


Yes, I am.  Strangely enough when people don’t know me much, this is the outer image I usually gave others.  I have difficulties to share my deepen hurts / wounds with others not only because I’m not get used to, but also feel shame to admit that I was not beloved by my family.  It’s extremely difficult to find people who share similar background / experience with me, everyone seems so normal.


When I’m OK, I know I can conquer many challenges so I’m always the one who got higher salary raise and promotion frequently.  I can be a great staff if put in the right hands of the right people. I’m loyal, hardworking and diligent.


My present boss persuade me to manage corporate account and grow her business, tried to re-negotiate salary but failed.  Same thought bumped me again : why I’m willing to work my ass off to help others to build their dreams / help them to get rich? But not brave enough to put the same amount of effort to build my own castle?


Years of working experience let me worked with many so-called professionals / high-ranked businessman, but many of them are just a myth / joke when you get closer.   I lost faith for so-called successful people, many of them are liars / narcissists /  fakers.  Until recent years come across some entrepreneurs who can doing business while earning respects.  This open my eyes and inspire me ….may be I can do the same.


My boss drives me crazy from time to time : childish, dependent, emotional unstable, bad personality and surprisingly running a 12 years+ business without any sense of business / marketing / operation.  She simply a copycat…..copy what others doing so manage to earn money without much effort.


Also, she continuously steal my ideas as if her thought, betray me or sell me out when she want to escape from her faults / responsibilities. The longer I report to her, the more I feel exhausted and start to realize how stupid I am to accept her taking advantage from me?


Abuse survivors tend to let others step over, take advantage of us without our permission. We don’t know how to say “No” or stand up for ourselves, until our self-esteem / self-confidence finally built up.



Uncertainty is a biggest fear


Like many abuse survivors, we hate / feel uncomfortable for uncertainty.  Grew up from toxic family already dealt with many dramas daily, didn’t know what happened next minute – seems like we can’t control our lives.


In such, abused survivor tend to waste a lot of time on self-doubt and fear uncertainty.  If you are experience similar things like me, as now, I’m more well-grounded than before so can give you some advice : take your time to heal, don’t step too behind the game. Then one day……when you are ready, you will evolve and fly.


I wish I can understand this wisdom years ago.



Choose your cycle carefully


Again, it took me years to understand this philosophy.  In the past, I surrounded myself with wrong / abusive / toxic people.  This further drag me down to the lowest point.  If you want to move forward / upward, you need to surround yourself with those who are way better than you.  Only they have the power / knowledge / spirit that you need to lift yourselves up.


My habit originally stemmed from self-doubt / lack of self-worth / self-confidence etc. I didn’t value myself much since I was humiliated / bullied / abuse at  home.  Always the scapegoat who take all blames and being scold.  Because of my self-hatred, I’m afraid to hang around with normal / confident / successful people, instead, bunch of toxic people or those who really don’t do any good to my self-growth.


“Who do you spend the most time with? ” …. Nowadays, I am more conscious of my choice because I finally realize the huge effect people have on me.  Got stuck at job, feeling not fit well in company culture.  I’m happy for myself manage to distinguish what’s best and worse for myself.  But at the same time I feel extremely lonely at work, feel extremely worse after chatting / spend time with my colleagues.  The environment just don’t fit me well.


Now, I’m more interested / determine to become the type of people I want to become.



Starting a business helping others


I’m not a saint.  But somehow I always find myself dive into charity activities.  Guess it’s because my abusive background, this make me much easier to feel the hurt / pain of others. My healing journey is lonely and rough but I did gain a lot of wisdom / courage from others, who inspire and give me hands when I need.


This make me always thinking….one day if I have the opportunity to start my own thing, I want to combine business with helping others’ needs.  In such, I feel more meaningful of my life.  I want to leave something behind when I die.


Though it’s still earlier to say so, but I know as long as I stuck at a 9-6 paid job, I can never fulfill my dream, but always put others’ priority first.



Sum Up


As an amateur, I can foresee there will have many challenges ahead.  But I do have much clarify about my value / career path and willing to work much harder to do something that align with my core value.  The future is scary but I own more courage / wisdom now.


Hopefully, this series of “Be my own boss” not only journal my start-up journey, but also attract more like-minded people, so we can stay accountable, support and learn from each other.


If you are not interested in starting your own business, it’s still OK.  It doesn’t mean everyone in the world need to be the boss, but as long as you trust your value, stop making excuses and always believing in yourselves, I know you can be success in any aspect of life.





Image credit :  Pixbay