Abuser may say something very upsetting to the victim and after seeing her reaction add, “it was just a joke”.
Abuse is not OK in any form. Jokes that hurt are abusive.
Having and overwhelming need for external validation.
Ongoing scapegoating, criticism, attacks, blaming, shaming or shunning are used as a threat or weapon by the narcissist and their allies, if they don’t get their way.
Family’s protection of their own feelings of guilt onto the scapegoat is a psychological defense mechanism.
In narcissistic family system, poor family boundaries are norm. Intrusiveness, mistreatment, abuse is normalized.
If the scapegoat becomes too insistent about expressing his / her point of view.
The rest of the family may cut him / her off from it entirely, thus totally isolating him / her.
Child of a narcissist exists solely to be of benefit to their parent.
Narcissist see their children as an extension of themselves.
You are expected to act like a parent to your parent(s). Rather than having your parent(s) care for you. You lose love, approval and privileges.
Family is supposed to be our safe haven. Very often, it’s the place where we find the deepest heartache.
They liked to present a perfect family image to outsiders.