Abuser may say something very upsetting to the victim and after seeing her reaction add, “it was just a joke”.
Abuse is not OK in any form. Jokes that hurt are abusive.
Having and overwhelming need for external validation.
In troubled families, abuse and neglect are permitted. It’s the talking about them that is forbidden.
Doubting your self-worth, believing you are bad or defective.
In narcissistic family system, poor family boundaries are norm. Intrusiveness, mistreatment, abuse is normalized.
If the scapegoat becomes too insistent about expressing his / her point of view.
The rest of the family may cut him / her off from it entirely, thus totally isolating him / her.
You are expected to act like a parent to your parent(s). Rather than having your parent(s) care for you. You lose love, approval and privileges.
Family scapegoat always the one who recognize the lie, break free and strive to heal themselves.
They liked to present a perfect family image to outsiders.
In a dysfunctional family, parents are inadequate or abusive, not enough love available for children.
This sets up an unconscious competition between the children.