This typical cognitive bias can be found in many abuse-victim relationships, or even how public perceive about victims.
e.g. if an victim was abused or raped, people will judge it’s because this girl / woman’s behavior is incorrect, seduce or being a sl*t or what and that’s why she was abused.
People tend not to consider external influence, such as the environment, security issues or even the behavior of abusers.
What do you think? Have you ever make a simple judgment on someone’s behavior quickly, instead of thinking about other circumstances?
Better walk away than to tolerate nonsense.
When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry. Show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.
Don’t let others define you!
Many abuse survivor become “Adult Children” though they stop into adulthood. It’s kind of like an adult look outside but there’s a child live within.
I’m very conscious about this symptoms and try my best to heal my inner child. But from time to time I still struggle with destructive behavior and act like a child, emotionally and psychologically.
The healing journey is long but as long as we keep moving forward, we will be fine.
What do you think?
When we used to get hurt, we don’t know how to react when others appreciate us.
End up we pushing people away.
I found not too many people understand the importance of psychological boundaries.
Especially for those who were abused for a long time, they lost the identity and fear of missing out or abandonment. This make them very valuable, either let others step over their boundaries and being controlled by others’ desire and need.
Or they become very controlling and want to step in other business. Always want to check and spy on their love ones, sadly, this unhealthy clinging scare people away.
How about you? Do you protect your psychological boundaries? Or let others violate according to their needs?
When you can tell your story and it doesn’t make you cry. That’s when you know you’ve healed.
Don’t know if it’s common or not, but I do find some of the people feel trapped in toxic relationship, not because they love that person but scare of leaving the comfort zone.
This is true that as long as we get used to the environment, we feel it’s more safe and secure to stay in the same old situation, even though it hurts, rather than jump the cliff to explore another chance.
It’s scary, i knew it.
What do you think? Are you one of them? or you know someone like this?
Change is painful, but nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you didn’t belong.