Optimism is a magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.
When someone was being abused for longer period of time, they may believe or trapped by this way of thinking.
They may think there’s no hope and they can never turn the table upside down, in such, they behave passive, helpless and conform to the toxic relationship / abuse.
Other victims may fight back because their lives are controlled on their own hands, they make a choice to leave the toxic relationship / abuse, learn and motivated to strive.
There’s a saying ” if you think you can, you can; if you think you can’t you can’t, both are true!”
Which type are you?
This typical cognitive bias can be found in many abuse-victim relationships, or even how public perceive about victims.
e.g. if an victim was abused or raped, people will judge it’s because this girl / woman’s behavior is incorrect, seduce or being a sl*t or what and that’s why she was abused.
People tend not to consider external influence, such as the environment, security issues or even the behavior of abusers.
What do you think? Have you ever make a simple judgment on someone’s behavior quickly, instead of thinking about other circumstances?
Better walk away than to tolerate nonsense.
When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry. Show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.
Don’t let others define you!
Many abuse survivor become “Adult Children” though they stop into adulthood. It’s kind of like an adult look outside but there’s a child live within.
I’m very conscious about this symptoms and try my best to heal my inner child. But from time to time I still struggle with destructive behavior and act like a child, emotionally and psychologically.
The healing journey is long but as long as we keep moving forward, we will be fine.
What do you think?
When we used to get hurt, we don’t know how to react when others appreciate us.
End up we pushing people away.
I found not too many people understand the importance of psychological boundaries.
Especially for those who were abused for a long time, they lost the identity and fear of missing out or abandonment. This make them very valuable, either let others step over their boundaries and being controlled by others’ desire and need.
Or they become very controlling and want to step in other business. Always want to check and spy on their love ones, sadly, this unhealthy clinging scare people away.
How about you? Do you protect your psychological boundaries? Or let others violate according to their needs?