When someone was being abused for longer period of time, they may believe or trapped by this way of thinking.
They may think there’s no hope and they can never turn the table upside down, in such, they behave passive, helpless and conform to the toxic relationship / abuse.
Other victims may fight back because their lives are controlled on their own hands, they make a choice to leave the toxic relationship / abuse, learn and motivated to strive.
There’s a saying ” if you think you can, you can; if you think you can’t you can’t, both are true!”
Which type are you?
It’s kind of difficult to deal with this type of attitudes.
We never easy to catch if that person is really understand or willing to follow through the commitment or not.
You have experience to deal with this kind of situation? Or this is actually your way of handling stress / conflict?
We should pay attention of children’s dreams, since they are not mature enough to express their feelings / thoughts but through their descriptions of dreams, we will get some ideas about their fear / concerns and stories that never told us.
Or sometimes I encountered people who claim they are “Morale” while keep on throwing dirty jokes, this actually indicate their repressed sexual desire at certain level. I came across this situation several times and they are all female.
We never can trust what someone say in surface, a slip of tongue may express more about their hidden desire / value. Watch out!
What do you think?
Effects of Childhood Trauma is unpredictable and can destroy individual over lifespan.
Many adult survivor still controlled by their inner child no matter what age they reach. They may react to situation like a child even though they physically matured enough to handle the situation.
Personally, this is one of the weakness I’m still working on it. Sometimes I just lead by my inner child emotion and forget I’m an adult and capable to own my life now.
How about You? Do you have an inner child within?
Remind yourself you’re not to blame for what a predator did to you.
Can’t recall the name but many years ago read a memoir about a boy who was seriously abused in his childhood, end up he has different personalities, this is an extreme case.
But very often we heard people who was abused in childhood may forget all things happened completely. They can’t remember a person / incident etc.
Not because they lost memories but simply the trauma was so severe so they just dissociated from the reality in order to survive.
In some cases, they suddenly remember everything and all flashbacks drive them crazy because the truth is too pain to accept.
You heard any stories like this?
The older I get the more I understand this theory, people who hurt others are actually the most unhappiest person.
Something happened in their lives that they can’t or not willing to deal with, instead, they project their problems / frustration / anger on others.
But it doesn’t mean their behaviors are acceptable. I believe we all are human so have the power to chose what we suppose to do.
How do you think about this?
Please comment or share this to someone you think they are going through difficult relationship right now.
This cognitive bias can be found in many situation, e.g. when we believe something at the first place, we will look for signs / evidence to prove our beliefs, even though it’s non-sense / urological.
That’s why it’s so important to evaluate our thoughts always because it may mislead our upcoming behaviors.
How about you? Do you have this kind of bias that distort your perspectives often?
I used to cried a lot, so confused, frustrated and lived in foggy days.
The more self-education I gained, the more strength and clarity I got about my situation.
Today, I no longer spent as much as time like before: feeling depressed or sorry for myself, though still feel frustrated from time to time but it’s more controllable.
How about you? How you deal with your past?
After Abuse, victims may chose to lock themselves up, stay isolated from the crowd / society or engage in destructive behaviors.
That’s why the abuse is not only affect the moment of abuse, but most damaging is years after abused incident.
People simply underestimate the duration of healing journey.
Do you agree?