This Quote described my situation at dysfunctional family very well.
According to my observation, it’s not only happen in family system, but also in everyday life, such as workplace.
Many times I observed colleagues / bosses will favorite a specific staff, in order to show his / her hate on another person. Body languages displayed that these targets people are no longer worthy in their eyes.
And if it happens in family, it can destroy self-esteem / self-worth of a child, which in turn will affect his / her all aspect of life.
In toxic family, when targeted child speaks up or confront the abuse, other family members will join together to attack the abused child, protect narcissistic parent blindly and pretend everything is fine.
Children are like wet cement, whatever falls on them will make an impression. Stop Child abuse.
They have the golden child and the scapegoat child.
One child was seen as perfect and capable of doing no harm.
The other child was seen as the black sheep, and the cause of all issues.
This explains why some of the victims stay with their abusers.
When we were abused, we need to adjust our mindset, attitude and behaviors in order to survive in the toxic environment.
Sooner or later, we forget who we are or what we are capable of, which ends up may become support to abusers.
That’s sad and tragic. Abuse is a complicated issue and difficult to be explained straight forward.
What do you think? do you believe victims will be brainwashed and become obedient to the abusers after a long history of abuse?
In scapegoating, one of the authority figures made a decision that somebody in the family has to be the bad guy.
Don’t let others define you!
Many of child abuse survivors still love their parents, and have been fed a constant narrative that they were the problem.
Many abuse survivor become “Adult Children” though they stop into adulthood. It’s kind of like an adult look outside but there’s a child live within.
I’m very conscious about this symptoms and try my best to heal my inner child. But from time to time I still struggle with destructive behavior and act like a child, emotionally and psychologically.
The healing journey is long but as long as we keep moving forward, we will be fine.
What do you think?