Scapegoating is a form of abuse & bullying occurs in the place
you should feel most safe – your family.
– Glynis Sherwood
Are you familiar with this term? How you feel about it?
Photo credit : Pixabay – Greyerbaby
Scapegoating is a form of abuse & bullying occurs in the place
you should feel most safe – your family.
– Glynis Sherwood
Are you familiar with this term? How you feel about it?
Photo credit : Pixabay – Greyerbaby
“In tragedy, it’s hard to find a good resolution,
it’s not black and white, but a big fog of gray.”
– Paul Dano
I can’t help but my heart sink while watching below video : a homeless man plays piano (Come Sail Away) he found at street, this bring me have an urge to write about common myths of healing after traumatic events.
Donald Gould, a 51 year old guy started played piano as a kid and later in US Marine Corps. Studied music at University since he wanted to teach music.
In 1998, his wife died unexpectedly – he was totally lost and hit rock bottom of his life. Not only started struggling with substance abuse but also lost custody of his only 3 years old son. He became homeless and live in the street for years.
This until one day he found a piano at street and was videotaped by a passerby, who posted it online thus he became famous suddenly
People who never experienced traumatic events, e.g. abused / tragedy will have difficulties to fully understand why and how it takes so long for victims to heal (or so-called “get over it”).
Truth is every human is so unique, different person experience same event is not necessary behave or react the same. Some people survived from accidents/disasters may move on easily and quickly, but other survivors may suffer from PTSD or depression. The way how individual respond to incidents are various and can be affected by many other internal / external factors, e.g. characteristics, family background, past experiences, support systems etc. Numerous unpredictable elements will alter how different individual coping with grief, loss or pain.
In my opinion, it’s unfair to judge any individual’s own experiences according to our own perception. We are not that person, or if when we never experience the same situation, it’s impossible to imagine how exactly it cause their pains. Simply throwing irresponsible comments such as “that person can move on after that incident, why can’t you?” is unhelpful.
Many outsiders primary have good intentions to support victims, hope to round things up quickly. To protect and stop victims continuing indulge in hurtful feelings / memories, they may try to weaken the seriousness of trauma, comforting survivors by saying “past is past, let’s move on, or even more worse blame-the victim by saying “I told you so…”., etc. Or never bring up the matters again, in their philosophy “out of sight, out of mind’.
Unfortunately, the most damage that any traumatic events bring to a person is not only physical but more importantly are emotional and psychological effects. Physical wounds can be seen and healed over times, but emotional scars are invisible and difficult to set a timer on it.
Anyone who experienced an abusive relationship / history or other kinds of trauma will experience “frozen moments”. They can walk, speak and live like a normal personal psychically but psychologically act like a zombie wandering around without soul.
Healing needs time, but how much time is enough? We can never get the clear answer because every individual survivor is so unique, each one healing schedule is so different. Terrible consolation to an abused survivor is asking them to pull themselves together. Some take weeks, months, and others may need years or even a lifetime.
That’s why law sentenced abusers (child molesters, child abusers, human traffickers etc) severely because it’s not about physical damages but uncountable emotional / psychological turmoils that survivors need to carry years after trauma.
Push survivors to heal without honoring their own schedule or blame the victim can never help victims. In fact, the more you push the more they shut down and scare away. They just not ready yet and need time to figure things out on their own speed / agenda.
Many survivors may feel the guilt / shame for not forgiving / healing as quickly as possible, or have pressure of being judge as “too sensitive”, “over-thinking”, so they act like nothing happened, cover up wounds, swallow anger / sadness / frustration inward. All so-called helps may simply adding salt to the wound
Above mentioned guy obviously experienced traumatic event on his life. He might has personal issues originally but his wife’s death was a trigger that lead his life go further south afterwards. It’s sad to see a talent person reached that point I can imagine one who gave up his life in such great degree was suffering from a tremendous grief of loss.
This story indicated how big impact of trauma can do us, and how little we do as support system.
How you feel about the story of this man?
Photo credit : Unsplash
Every time you’re tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past, or a pioneer of the future?
– Deepak Chopra
This is part 2 of adult attachment style.
Anyone who never had experience of growing up from dysfunctional / toxic / abusive family, they just don’t have clear clues how painful, confused and disorientate it can be. I can’t emphasize enough it’s very important to educate public, especially primary caretakers as the way they raise their child will definitely alter his / her every aspect of life.
Not as causal as many outsiders think, or simply throw sentences : “past is past, let’s move on!”, “Don’t cry on spilled milk”. Once an individual’s self-belief, self-image and self-confidence etc was damaged / distorted, it needs lots more of time / energy / methods to heal the wounds than don’t make it happen at the first place.
If a child is rejected / betrayed continually by parents, raising in a toxic, lack of love, care environment, he / she will have difficulties to develop maturely. As times goes by, they learn to mother themselves independently during the development process. They managed to disconnect from parents and environment, shut down emotions or ask for help in order to limit those harmful / hurtful feelings / emotions. The whole time they are in survival mode, tackle all life challenges by themselves and realized that it’s better not relying on others, even parents. People can’t be trust.
Sadly, this unhealthy relationship pattern is prolonged to adulthood. People of this type are very detached from people and environment. They feel more comfortable and safer to do everything alone, don’t consider the necessity and importance of close relationship with others. Besides, they view relationships never last long, or are dangerous / hurtful. They worry things out of their control and love to live on their own terms. In such, they don’t need to deal with disappointments, rejections or emotions that potentially evolved with companion. They seem so “COLD” like a zombie.
They may jump from relationships to relationships as simply a thought of long-lasting relationship already scare them away, or prefer long-distance relationship because it won’t consume all their energy / attention in which they never willing to sacrifice 100% because of the fear of failure in relationship. Since they don’t have great desire of closeness with others, they will never have motivation to figure out what’s the problem and solution – feeling everything just fine.
A female solo-traveler I met on the road years ago was exactly belong to this type : very independent, tough and love to do everything on her own. She doesn’t care hanging around with other fellow travelers and reacted extremely sensitive, always worrying that other travelers or locals took advantage from her. Similar to me, she had a difficult childhood and guess that’s the reason we bound to each other so quickly at the beginning. But after spending some time traveled with her, I felt so exhausted mentally, end up we argued and split up.
I quite understand why she suppress her feelings / emotions, but it’s just too difficult to relate to someone who was so isolated, rejected to open up her thoughts/ideas while planning itinerary. People with dismissive adult attachment style tend to avoid conflict / stress by distancing themselves.
In our society, people are praised and judged according to how much money, what title they hold etc. This give excuses for people of this type to chase their success, fame, reputation even further without critics. In fact, they are very self-critical, insecure, low self-esteem thus need continued attention, approval and reassurance from others. No matter how success, beautiful or wealthy they are, the internal never-ended self-doubts and comparisons are killing them.
They hungry for so-called achievements at the expense of other’s benefits, e.g. families harmony or own health. At surface, such over-work pattern project an image of diligent, industrious but the truth is they love to be admired, complimented and always worrying one day their status will be faded. In order to maintain their current positions/status, they work even more hours or skipping more friends/family events.
Not saying that working hard is bad but there’s a fine line. According to psychology, anyone who put everything on one basket signaling something wrong, e.g. sex / drug addiction, over-work, probably trying to escape from something that afraid to confront, e.g. a bad marriage or a lonely / boring life.
There are another group of people from this type, who don’t care much about money or career etc, but addict to relationships. Deep inside, they have low self-esteem and don’t believe they are worthy enough to have a good relationship, thus always worry and afraid being rejected / betrayed by others. Because of the fear, they keep an eye / ears on their partners all time, very clingy, needy or overly dependent with their friends / partners, e.g. excessive calling, texting. They are willing to do everything pleasing their partners / friends in exchanging of care and attention.
People with healthy boundary have a balance between relationships : maintain an intimate / close relationships with others while owing their own lives, hobbies, personal time. Unfortunately, people with preoccupied attachment style have problems to smooth their inner insecurities without react desperately in their relationships.
Doesn’t mean we will stuck in same style forever, but attachment theory giving us some guidance, showing how our behaviors / thoughts are influenced. Research shows that it’s difficult for individuals to change from one attachment style to another, unless an individual alert to the problems and willing to make changes on their own wishes – to break through the unhealthy pattern.
Secure attachment type is the most healthy personality and we should surround ourselves with them more. Besides, work on developing our self-confidence, self-image issues and learning more about relationships. Sure It needs to take lots of practice and effort, since unlearning wrong patterns to re-build a healthy one takes time and courage.
And if you are secure type, please be patience and don’t being too pushy to your partners / friends (in case they are dismissive/avoidant or preoccupied). The more you push the more you’ll drive them away, they’ll getting more nervous and panic which end up push them back to their caves. Once an individual shut down it’ll be more difficult to help them. Show yourself as example of what is healthy relationship means, they might not saying anything but actually peeking on your behaviors/attitude, when they’re ready they’ll change and make a difference because you prove them how life and relationship can be so lovely.
Do you know anyone belongs to these types? how you feel and handle?
Photo credit : Shaun Dunphy
Children in Dysfunctional homes at risk of abuse are kept in danger for too long, because politically correct rules we won’t challenge unfit parents.
– Michael Gove
Do you agree?
Photo credit : Pixabay : Skitterphoto
You attract what you put out there.
Same as many abused survivors, we never learn a healthy way to communicate. What I found many survivors have difficulties to establish a healthy relationship with others, either getting too needy, insecure, co-dependent or become very defense, avoidance, build a huge wall surround themselves from hurts / harms, at the cost of ruining potential friendships or other relationships.
I’m one of them so always look for resources to learn from others’ perspectives / insights. It’s not necessary always the famous speakers, sometimes I’m more related to those who share their wisdom based on their own personal experiences. I feel it’s more real and persuasive than those who simply sharing their thoughts like a speech, without real experience.
Video Source credit : Joe Amoia
Many people were in relationships but unhappy. They may sell short to settle for someone who’s not that great, but simply because they are lonely and need someone around. We got to learn how to attract the right one.
This is a tricky one for many women and universal problem I guess. You may feel more relax when your men look at other corner in future after watching this video.
I’m jealous and don’t think I can get rid of this completely. But comparing to some other women, I’m still in “under-control” mode. Jealous is actually a reflection of how you see yourself. Today I understand when I jealous someone, it’s not because they are better, greater or whatsoever, but it represents what’s lack in me and I want to own the same thing.
There should have more but this video make it simple to list only 3. See if you hit one of them?
Even myself, as a woman, I found annoyed and irritated by some of behaviors / words women expressed sometimes. Some may act like “mothers” – nagging, complaining and guiding / teaching their men constantly. Others may act like “princesses” always need to be loved, glorified, look after. Both types are very exhausted to be around if I’m a guy.
We learned history, art or English etc. from school, but no official school for us to learn how to love / establish relationship. Unfortunately, I found many unhappiness / frustrations are originally from individual’s mindset.
Always amazed by how much time, effort and money people spent on learning how to equip certain technique / skills for their work, investments, but don’t care as much as love, relationship issues. Money / success / fame can never compare to the level of true happiness that a harmony relationships bring us.
How you handle the situations for above ?
Photo credit : Pixabay – macadam13
People only see what they’re prepared to see.
According to psychology theory, human perception are easily be distorted frequently. Understanding what irrational thoughts running in our head, not only general people but especially for abused survivors can be helpful during healing journey.
Psychological / cognitive bias lead individuals making inaccurate judgments, illogical interpretation about the world, own-selves or people surrounded.
Don’t you realize people have tendency to hang around with people who have similar thoughts, interests, who agree with us more? As per old sayings : “like attracts alike”; or “you don’t need to approach someone to understand them, instead, their circle of friends can tell you more honestly about this person.
Conversely, human nature tend to resist, feel uncomfortable to connect with people who disagree, different from our points of views / values. End up, we found ourselves keep fueling pre-existing belief / perspectives while ignoring comments that benefit to us.
If an abused survivor believe “this is it”, it’s his / her fate being mistreated / humiliated / abused in certain way, this is their supposed destinies etc. Then they will never have desire to look for better person who treat them nicely and respectfully. No matter what they gone through, they trust good people are exist in the world and they have power to chose / seek for help, reliable friends or another half, though it might take longer time or lots of effort to break through old-aged bias.
Sadly, if an abused survivor are crowded / trapped in distorted bias, e.g. woman are born to be submissive, all men are untrustworthy etc according to their experience, then surely will have higher chance to connect those who repeat the history: abusing them physically, emotionally or psychologically. Self-limited beliefs are so strong that can demotivate individuals searching for resources / support systems for healing. Instead, more indulge to information / hints that support and confirm their bias.
Certainly, confirmation bias will prevent individuals think logically / objectively about their situations. They believe what they believe and will find evidence to prove their points, as a result making more wrong life decisions.
Human nature have coping mechanism protecting our self-ego and self-esteem. It’s essential at certain level but in many situations, this common cognitive bias will affect our perception on success / failure etc.
Remember the first time I learned this bias, it’s kind of funny to me as I found lots of examples from my daily life. Of course nowadays I’m more alerted to circumstances when it happens, especially interested to see how others react with this principle too.
This bias proving a common tendency that human love to blame others or external factors when things go wrong, e.g. abusers / narcissistic / toxic people selfishly put blame on others for their own faults / flaws, claiming that the root of problems are another person’s behaviors, reactions, thus they have rights and excuse to yell, abuse etc. Other common scenarios such as : women got raped because they dress inappropriate, domestic violence exists due to wife / husband didn’t do what their second half asked / expected. It’s now we well-known as “victim-blaming” symptom.
Ironically, in other times people love judging others according to numerous stereotypes / norms, e.g. age, race, culture, appearance, or something related to that person’s personality / characteristics / traits, etc. Real environment / external influence are under-estimated or never be considered, e.g. rape victims should responsible for how they dress; victims of accidents should always responsible for what happened to their driving skills though it’s actually due to poor weather / road condition that moment.
People proud to comment success to their own efforts or own abilities / capabilities, e.g. narcissists don’t appreciate supporting staffs or any other contribution / efforts during the process of success, but interpret these as their own talents. Strangely, the other times same toxic bosses will blame their staffs as the problems of incapable staffs if there’s any company losses. They deserved to be yelled, scolded or verbally abused but never thought about his / her own leadership skills.
How we perceive the cause of success / failure will definitely affect how we interact with others, which in turn affect all relationships, our happiness and many aspects of life fulfillment. If we always feel it’s another person’s fault, we will never have the need to self-examine, self-reflect on our behaviors and attitudes, thus we can never grow. Of even if we success at work with lots of money, we can never be truly happy without healthy relationships.
I’m still struggling and applying any new knowledge I’ve learned to my life.
I used to have these cognitive bias but now understand it’s important to destroy them, every time when similar thoughts come up my mind, I question my thoughts more often and keep on comparing the pros and cons within.
So have you ever trapped by these 2 common psychological bias? Are you conscious about your thoughts and behaviors?
Scapegoaters are insecure people,
who try to raise their own status by lower their targets’ status
– Glynis Sherwood
Photo credit : Pixabay – Nissar
When I walk into a room full of people, I always look for you first.
It’s been over 3 years since the first time we met and become your secret admirer. Time fly so fast.
Very often, my emotions are fluctuated according to our interactions (just like many of other women), your behaviors / attitudes towards me sometimes makes me feeling fly to the sky but other times I was drowned. That day I was happy over the moon but the other day I was totally depressed after we met.
But as I calm down to collect my thoughts, realize I actually don’t have right to blame or angry with you, how could I? I am the one who behave strangely, being cold and detached. You tried every attempt to approach and want to have conversation with me but because of my lack of confidence and self-worth, I always stay away from your staring or keep an arm of distance.
I might act like don’t care or paying attention to you, but in fact I acknowledge all your stares, tell jokes to make me laugh, bump to me in corridors purposely, etc. I understood all these gestures and intentions but just too scare to respond, not even look into your eyes.
It’s silly but I do have difficulties to open my heart and trust others after all those abusive years. Many internal wounds scare me away for being hurt again. Deep down I yearn for your attention, love and care, but at surface, I can’t put myself out of the comfort zone. I love to have you around me but get nervous when you approach me.
Many times I sensed how frustrated / angry / disappointed you felt from your facial expressions and tone of voices after I didn’t respond to your attempts. Guess we both realize some chemistry is running between us but you may feel confused about my response.
I knew you always search for my existence whenever you step in the room, try your best to make excuses to stand near or make eye contact with me. You try many ways to break the ice but I just too scare to let our interactions go further.
I worried you no longer like me once you found out my history / background, or my other flaws, thus feel more safe to freeze our relationship in frog rather than ruining all fantasies. While I am still learning how to trust and rely on others, I feel uncomfortable for any intimacy relationship.
Thank you so much for saving my life no matter what. Because of you, I started to leave my cave and make some big changes. Though there still have a lot of work to do on myself but at least I become better than I used to be.
Many times I want to give up and disappear completely from your environment. But deep down I know it’s the nice for me to surround myself with positive people. You are always so energetic, goal driven and confident, these are traits I always admire of. Your perspective and ambitions do motivate me to stay on track and work hard to be a better version of myself.
Over the years, whenever my emotions are overwhelmed, I just run away and back to my comfort zone to avoid any potential rejection, judgments or failure in relationships. But your brave attitude/vision on your job inspired me to stay in my “frighten” zone to take challenges in other aspect of my life.
Sorry for all frustrations / confusions I gave you. Understand I could do better but I just don’t know how to, at least at this stage.
Your secret admirer
This letter supposed quite personally. I chose to publish it openly not only because I want to share my life / feelings freely, but also would like to address trust issues of any abused survivors.
It can be very frustrated / confused or even mad when you are dating or having a partner who went through difficult times in the past. You may feel no matter how much effort you made but they seem still so distant, cold or don’t care about your good intentions?
Please! I would like to confirm you that most of time it’s not because of you, it’s probably not always your fault but simply they’re so frighten to open up their wounds.
It needs to take a huge amount of patience, time and love to communicate. This seems difficult right? Yeah! That’s why survivors always have difficulties to find people who have such great patience which end up survivors easily be misunderstood or stay lonely the whole life.
How about you? Do you have a secret admirer? or you are the one?
Photo credit : Pixabay – Ktburnett91
One of the categories I love to read is memoir / biography, which enables me to learn from others’ wisdom, insights and strength gained from their life journeys. Some of the stories can be tough to digest or imagine how a human can strive through those struggles / trauma.
Just finished “Finding me- a decade of darkness, a life reclaimed”, by Michelle Knight. I needed to take deep breaths from time to time while reading, it’s unbelievable to read a true life tragedy but still stay strong to live a new chapter of life now. What an amazing woman with enormous amount of courage, power and spirits within.
In 2002, Michelle Knight was kidnapped by a school bus driver and her decade of terror was started. Then in 2003 and 2004, two more other girls (aged 14 and 16) joined the abduction. They were chained, raped, starved and experienced other unspeakable tortures daily.
“The day I disappeared I was twenty-one, a young mom who stopped at a store one afternoon to ask for directions. For the next 11 years I was locked away in hell” – Michelle Knight.
I don’t want to believe an old saying “one who was abused will eventually become a abuser to others”. Unfortunately, this story supports the cycle once again. Psycho in this crime was abused when young, obviously he didn’t get any proper counselling but turn around to hurt others.
Why victims are not healed? Is it indicated that sexual / physical abuse etc are still taboos in society, especially when it happened to male? When people afraid to share their experiences, how can we expect the public acknowledge its importance so raise up awareness, campaigns or public education? What if we stop blaming the victims but allow them to to talk, share / discuss openly without any judgments?
Remember once I visited India, a guy told me how annoyed he felt about tourists always love to visit slumps / charities, instead of visiting other beautiful places. He want foreigners feel proud of his country by covering all the darkness. I believe “not seeing” not equals to “not existing”. Hiding problems is merely intensify the issue.
I supported Michelle’s sharing “many people were abused, but it doesn’t mean all need to kidnap 3 women and torture them to ease the anger / frustration”. I still believe public awareness and breaking taboos are essentials, but at the same time, abusers do have their own responsibilities to make any choice. There’s no excuse.
Recalled when I watched her news from TV years ago, what caught my attention was how she responded to media that rejected to re-unit with her biological parents.
Though I didn’t know much about about dysfunctional family at that time, but at least I can fully understand how it feel and why any person make such so-called “unfaithful” decision. It’s actually a trauma for any individuals. Who will give up their own family? Stay no contact or entangled from parents? So disloyal and should be criticized by outsiders.
Hold this judgment until you read her childhood stories, the reasons were there. How on earth can parents do this to an innocent child? Michelle was not suddenly learned being tough with courage to deal with abuses during her 11 hell years, but In fact, she geared up these skills since young.
Sadly, society still support the ideas of no-wrong families. If there’s something happened on child, it must be the child’s problem. People chose not to believe parents or family members do hurt their sons/daughters, either physically or emotionally. We don’t talk and discuss, all secrets hide behind family doors. What if we being brave to challenge what we listen and see, accepting that there truly have problems in certain area so victims get supports?
Disclaimer : I never doubt any abused survivor sharing their stories in promoting public awareness. I applaud people have guts to do so because it can inspire others to live / change their own healing journey. I asked myself what if this situation happen to me? I don’t think I can survive, or have doubts to see anyone who go through this trauma without shattered their soul into pieces at very early beginning.
However…media, news, books, movie and numerous famous TV shows….I doubted it. What worrying much is when I saw how she enjoyed the attention, care and love from strangers at street / store / events. As an abused survivor, I can understand how different when you get used to be humiliated / abused / ignored, but now suddenly you draw all attention from the world.
Hope this is not the sign of she can’t live without those attention. It happened to many survivors as it’s so tempting to be the center of the attention. Once people get tired of our stories, there’s a potential that we need to do MORE, to disclose MORE in order to keep the attention at it’s original level.
No matter what, this is not an easy book to read, I was in tears from time to time. This hell story bring up lots of thoughts on “humanity”, “abuse”, “dysfunctional family” taboos.
We should be more alerted for surroundings. If you are teachers/coaches, see if there’s any child react strangely, too quiet or overacted? This usually a red flag showing a child bury lots of anger / frustration inside, which they are too young to understand and manage by themselves.
Any hints of domestic violence, child abuse? Whenever you spot something fishy, please don’t be hesitate being more suspicious/nosy – asking more and offer help if necessary.
You never know that 1 minute you waste while walking by a crime, may save a person’s life.
How do you feel about this crime? Do you think you can handle this and survive?
Photo credit : Pixabay – Public Domain Pictures
Humor can soften worst blows life delivers, & once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
– Bill Cosby
I love humor, jokes and comedies and admire people who can put these in a right way. Humor is a skillful art which needs lots of observation, insights, presentation skills and wisdom, seeking difference from daily life and re-create in a funny way.
Don’t like those co-called jokes / comedy that use humiliation, verbal abuse, dirty stories etc. in earning audience’ laughs and attention (although I still laugh from these but deep down I don’t appreciate much). I’m more proud of those who can keep jokes clean, classy while making people laughing because it require even more technique than simply insulting others.
Try to start a new series of “BuckUp” because I want to share positive resources found online or whatever to my readers. Healing journey is long and rocky so it’s necessary to empower ourselves with others’ wisdom / knowledge / skills.
You’re always welcome to share any resources that benefit to your life, make you become a better version of yourself.
Kept smiling while watching, interested to see how a guy caught gals’ lies in a humors way. Caught similar phrases from fellow female friends/acquaintances occasionally so it’s funny to re-cap via the video. Girls, no need to get angry or feel offence.
Video Source : scootermagruder
OK! If you don’t feel comfortable watching those gals’ lies, to revenge is to watch another funny video to learn about men lies. Again, simply treat these as informal guidelines to understand men. Another funny catch.
This video is compliment to above video of “100 lies women tell”. This remind me that men and women are from different world. To understand their “wisdom” sure may help female shorten the distance and have a better communication with them.
A series that I found very interesting too. Topics here and there jumping around, but this guy is very good at observing other’s behaviors, small stuffs happened in daily life. Surprised to discover there are so many things that we never pay attention as we auto-pilot, until he listed them out then make me re-think and laugh.
Not created by the same guy, but bumped to my attention accidentally while searching around the web. So funny to watch as they pinpointed men and women attitudes towards intimacy in humor. Not only for indian but girls around the world.
Video source : Your india bro
Not saying that these guys’ sharing are 100% truth, stereotypes do exists. But if you need some good laughs or humor in life at the moment, sure these help as long as you don’t take it too personally. Just for fun.
Anyone or those who are struggling in life challenges, it’s necessary to put down problems, take a break from time to time. Whenever things get tough or I don’t know how to handle at that moment, I’ll indulge in comedies to pull myself out of the sight for a while. It might not a good coping skills but at least it gives me some time to breath, digest and re-collect my own thoughts before I step back to the stage.
How about you? Do you enjoy humor? Do you think sense of humor is important to life?
Photo credit : Pixabay – Bessi