It’s kind of difficult to deal with this type of attitudes.
We never easy to catch if that person is really understand or willing to follow through the commitment or not.
You have experience to deal with this kind of situation? Or this is actually your way of handling stress / conflict?
A child who has been abused or traumatized, the adult survivor experience feelings of low self-worth or poor self-confidence.
Umm….though I’m a scapegoat, but do find some of the characteristics from “Lost Child”.
I was so QUIET and always lock myself in room for days, dive into reading and own stuffs in order to escape from the dysfunction / chaos at home.
When I step into adulthood, I feel anxious and shy in front of strangers, afraid of conflict because I already sick with drama.
How about you? Do you have these symptoms too?
This is very common in dysfunctional / toxic family, or even at toxic work environment.
Abuser choose ignore or pretend victims are not exist, at the same time, they may over-empathize another person’s behavior, praise and adore them with no sense.
The aim is to downgrade the status of victim, make them know that they are not valuable / worthy to the abuser. This can damage target’s self-esteem / confidence seriously as they may feel / think they are useless.
Some of the most poisonous people come disguised as family.
Family is not always as warm as people think but it’s a taboo to discuss about. Everything behind doors are secret.
Do you have a lovely family?
Photo credit : Pixabay – The Pixelman
This is not new to many of abuse survivors, people don’t quite understand why victims / survivors don’t fight for themselves or “do something”.
Sure there are strong individuals will figure it all out and stand up for themselves at early age of abuse. But there are times when victims are abused for a longer period of time, especially without enough support system, this will lead them to this “learned helplessness” mode.
I knew it because I was there. There were times I just feel no matter I do was useless and felt stuck. This until I started to pick myself up from the bottom, read and learn as many as possible I can from other survivors / experts, sooner or later, you will notice there’s a light at the end of tunnel.
So don’t give up yourself even though others give you up. Stay strong!
Family is supposed to be our safe haven. Sometimes, however, it’s the place where we find the deepest heartache.
Every time when I read news about child abuse at family, this hurts and made me sad.
Family is suppose the most safety place for naive child. How come?
How about your family? Is it make you heartache? or make you feel warm and safe always?
Photo credit : Unsplash
Because of my insecure, I used to surround myself with toxic or people that do nothing good to me.
It happens commonly among abused survivors, we don’t know how to establish and nurture a healthy relationship.
Or many times because of our lack of confidence and low self-esteem issues, we tend to attract toxic people, who spot our weakness right away, which in turn drag our lives even further downward.
Today, though I am still struggling with relationship issues, but I am more alert to my surroundings.
How about you? You attract the right people to your live or you just accept anyone step into your life? Even though they are harm to you?
Dysfunctional family role :
The “lost” child fail through cracks almost disappearing, often described as quiet, shy, lonely and passive.
Sadly, the more this child get lost from the crowd, the less support can be received. End up, it can bring even more damage to their life.
Are you one of them? or do you know someone is belong to this dysfunctional family role?
Image Credit : Pixabay – KokomoCole
In general, people crown parents as a king / queen of the castle. We are not comfortable to discuss / talk behind our parents because the logic of “there’s no bad parent” is already tattooed in our mind / spirit.
How dare we judge our parents? They have already sacrificed so much for us? So many excuses to support their destructive / abusive behaviors, such as “they don’t mean to hurt you, or it’s just because they didn’t have a nice / caring parents so they never learned how to parent their own kids …. so and so….
I was trapped in these kinds of stereotypes for many years, guilt and shame filled me up because I was not suppose to hate or judge my parents. What’s wrong with me? No one is perfect in the world right?
I am an evil and not a good person, etc. I was the one who need to be blamed because of my ungrateful / UN-forgiveness.
However, the more knowledge I gained, the more I understand abusive / toxic parents are related to serious personality disorder so impossible to fix. Some people really not qualified as parents since they project their anger / frustration on their own kids.
They don’t know we all human have CHOICE, to treat or not treat others in certain ways.
Are you lucky enough to have good parents? Or not?