Ongoing scapegoating, criticism, attacks, blaming, shaming or shunning are used as a threat or weapon by the narcissist and their allies, if they don’t get their way.
Never wrong. Even when they made a mistake or treated you in an unfair way, they never apologized for their mistakes.
When we used to get hurt, we don’t know how to react when others appreciate us.
End up we pushing people away.
It’s kind of difficult to deal with this type of attitudes.
We never easy to catch if that person is really understand or willing to follow through the commitment or not.
You have experience to deal with this kind of situation? Or this is actually your way of handling stress / conflict?
A child who has been abused or traumatized, the adult survivor experience feelings of low self-worth or poor self-confidence.
Umm….though I’m a scapegoat, but do find some of the characteristics from “Lost Child”.
I was so QUIET and always lock myself in room for days, dive into reading and own stuffs in order to escape from the dysfunction / chaos at home.
When I step into adulthood, I feel anxious and shy in front of strangers, afraid of conflict because I already sick with drama.
How about you? Do you have these symptoms too?
This is very common in dysfunctional / toxic family, or even at toxic work environment.
Abuser choose ignore or pretend victims are not exist, at the same time, they may over-empathize another person’s behavior, praise and adore them with no sense.
The aim is to downgrade the status of victim, make them know that they are not valuable / worthy to the abuser. This can damage target’s self-esteem / confidence seriously as they may feel / think they are useless.
Some of the most poisonous people come disguised as family.
Family is not always as warm as people think but it’s a taboo to discuss about. Everything behind doors are secret.
Do you have a lovely family?
Photo credit : Pixabay – The Pixelman
This is not new to many of abuse survivors, people don’t quite understand why victims / survivors don’t fight for themselves or “do something”.
Sure there are strong individuals will figure it all out and stand up for themselves at early age of abuse. But there are times when victims are abused for a longer period of time, especially without enough support system, this will lead them to this “learned helplessness” mode.
I knew it because I was there. There were times I just feel no matter I do was useless and felt stuck. This until I started to pick myself up from the bottom, read and learn as many as possible I can from other survivors / experts, sooner or later, you will notice there’s a light at the end of tunnel.
So don’t give up yourself even though others give you up. Stay strong!