We human afraid of being rejected or any uncomfortable feelings.
In order to save face and pretend nothing is happen, to protect our self-ego, we may act like nothing is happening and everything is fine.
That’s sad because if we don’t admit there’s a problem, we can never heal.
Do you recognize this symptoms from anyone you know?
This is very different from the “closed family”.
Closed Handed family is all members in the family is kind of tied together in a unhealthy way. They can’t grow emotionally and individuality is disappear in this type of family.
I cherish closed and supported family, but not the one that over-cling together. The more you love your child, the more you need to let them grow and have their own lives.
What do you think?
The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.
A healthy family is one that cherish individuality. You gained support while manage to develop your own self identity.
In unhealthy / dysfunctional family, the boundaries are violated and everyone is so enmeshed together emotionally.
This structure will destroy child development, his / her individuality which end up ruin his / her relationship with others when they step into adulthood or have their own families.
How’s your family system and how it affect you?
Anyone can have a child and call themselves “a parent”.
A real parent is someone who puts that child above their own selfish needs & wants.
Lead to self-sabotage, destructive relationship behavior, neediness, or a variety of other attachment problems.
Remind yourself you’re not to blame for what a predator did to you.
Unhealthy view of relationships – if a parent who exploded, constantly overcritical, vanished or demanded perfection, we don’t have a healthy view of real, caring relationships.
Can’t recall the name but many years ago read a memoir about a boy who was seriously abused in his childhood, end up he has different personalities, this is an extreme case.
But very often we heard people who was abused in childhood may forget all things happened completely. They can’t remember a person / incident etc.
Not because they lost memories but simply the trauma was so severe so they just dissociated from the reality in order to survive.
In some cases, they suddenly remember everything and all flashbacks drive them crazy because the truth is too pain to accept.
You heard any stories like this?
Parent asking the child to be their parent, and to fix and support them.