This typical cognitive bias can be found in many abuse-victim relationships, or even how public perceive about victims.
e.g. if an victim was abused or raped, people will judge it’s because this girl / woman’s behavior is incorrect, seduce or being a sl*t or what and that’s why she was abused.
People tend not to consider external influence, such as the environment, security issues or even the behavior of abusers.
What do you think? Have you ever make a simple judgment on someone’s behavior quickly, instead of thinking about other circumstances?
We human afraid of being rejected or any uncomfortable feelings.
In order to save face and pretend nothing is happen, to protect our self-ego, we may act like nothing is happening and everything is fine.
That’s sad because if we don’t admit there’s a problem, we can never heal.
Do you recognize this symptoms from anyone you know?
This explains why some of the victims stay with their abusers.
When we were abused, we need to adjust our mindset, attitude and behaviors in order to survive in the toxic environment.
Sooner or later, we forget who we are or what we are capable of, which ends up may become support to abusers.
That’s sad and tragic. Abuse is a complicated issue and difficult to be explained straight forward.
What do you think? do you believe victims will be brainwashed and become obedient to the abusers after a long history of abuse?
It’s kind of difficult to deal with this type of attitudes.
We never easy to catch if that person is really understand or willing to follow through the commitment or not.
You have experience to deal with this kind of situation? Or this is actually your way of handling stress / conflict?
We should pay attention of children’s dreams, since they are not mature enough to express their feelings / thoughts but through their descriptions of dreams, we will get some ideas about their fear / concerns and stories that never told us.
Or sometimes I encountered people who claim they are “Morale” while keep on throwing dirty jokes, this actually indicate their repressed sexual desire at certain level. I came across this situation several times and they are all female.
We never can trust what someone say in surface, a slip of tongue may express more about their hidden desire / value. Watch out!
What do you think?
Emotional Abusers may use this tactic often, you were insulted, humiliated or verbally abused, next moment they will praise / adore you.
This not only confused the victims but also explain quite a bit why victims chose to stay in an unhealthy relationship.
Abusers give an impression to victims that they don’t meant to hurt them, and at the end they still love the victims.
What do you think? Have you ever experienced this?
This is common to be found in little child, but in fact it happens in adult too.
There are adults who always throw temper, act out or outraged for little things, sometimes it’s not about the situation / things happens, instead something bothering them within.
If you never deal with your inner self, you will have problems to deal with outside stuffs.
Don’t you agree? Are you acting out? or you know someone who always acting out?
Before now, I was kind of “perfectionist”, this gave me lots of pressure and waste energy on unimportant tasks.
When I wanted to do something, I would dive in and worked my ass off, but as soon as I understood the psychology behind “perfectionist”, I changed my attitudes.
Still worked hard but manage to let go so don’t drive myself nuts. Today I understand the difference between want to make things better, and fear of judgment or worry be viewed as worthless.
Are you perfectionist? or You know someone own this behavior?
This cognitive bias can be found in many situation, e.g. when we believe something at the first place, we will look for signs / evidence to prove our beliefs, even though it’s non-sense / urological.
That’s why it’s so important to evaluate our thoughts always because it may mislead our upcoming behaviors.
How about you? Do you have this kind of bias that distort your perspectives often?
This defense mechanism can be found in many situation.
That’s why when we found someone who’s throwing temper, yelling and screaming at others, most of the times it’s not about that situation / person, instead, something happen underneath that abuser.
Have you ever meet someone love to project their emotions / problems / frustrations to others?
How you handle this?