We should pay attention of children’s dreams, since they are not mature enough to express their feelings / thoughts but through their descriptions of dreams, we will get some ideas about their fear / concerns and stories that never told us.
Or sometimes I encountered people who claim they are “Morale” while keep on throwing dirty jokes, this actually indicate their repressed sexual desire at certain level. I came across this situation several times and they are all female.
We never can trust what someone say in surface, a slip of tongue may express more about their hidden desire / value. Watch out!
What do you think?
Emotional Abusers may use this tactic often, you were insulted, humiliated or verbally abused, next moment they will praise / adore you.
This not only confused the victims but also explain quite a bit why victims chose to stay in an unhealthy relationship.
Abusers give an impression to victims that they don’t meant to hurt them, and at the end they still love the victims.
What do you think? Have you ever experienced this?
This is common to be found in little child, but in fact it happens in adult too.
There are adults who always throw temper, act out or outraged for little things, sometimes it’s not about the situation / things happens, instead something bothering them within.
If you never deal with your inner self, you will have problems to deal with outside stuffs.
Don’t you agree? Are you acting out? or you know someone who always acting out?
Before now, I was kind of “perfectionist”, this gave me lots of pressure and waste energy on unimportant tasks.
When I wanted to do something, I would dive in and worked my ass off, but as soon as I understood the psychology behind “perfectionist”, I changed my attitudes.
Still worked hard but manage to let go so don’t drive myself nuts. Today I understand the difference between want to make things better, and fear of judgment or worry be viewed as worthless.
Are you perfectionist? or You know someone own this behavior?
This cognitive bias can be found in many situation, e.g. when we believe something at the first place, we will look for signs / evidence to prove our beliefs, even though it’s non-sense / urological.
That’s why it’s so important to evaluate our thoughts always because it may mislead our upcoming behaviors.
How about you? Do you have this kind of bias that distort your perspectives often?
This defense mechanism can be found in many situation.
That’s why when we found someone who’s throwing temper, yelling and screaming at others, most of the times it’s not about that situation / person, instead, something happen underneath that abuser.
Have you ever meet someone love to project their emotions / problems / frustrations to others?
How you handle this?
Some of the abuse survivors will use food to shift their focus from painful flashbacks / thoughts, others may dive into video games the whole day to eliminate the stressful situation.
I used to use food to channel my anger and frustration, which is a self-destructive behavior which end up triple my problems.
How about you?
What other people think of us usually has very little to do with who we are.
It’s a lot more to do with that person’s own prejudices, fears & projections.
– Beverly Engel
The more I educated myself, the more I understand there’s nothing to do with myself, it’s how abusers think about themselves.
What do you think? Please leave comments below.
Photo credit : Pixabay – RyanMcGuire
It happens commonly in abuse survivors, but the longer we stay “unattached” to the truth, the more difficult we heal our wounds.
It’s not easy to face / confront our past but this is something MUST do in order to rich a fulfilling live.
Um…I would say this is very common around us.
The most common I found is when people refuse to be judged about their lovers / partners / husbands etc., they tend to deny the truth even though the symptoms / signs are obviously appear in front of them.
E.g. Wives will deny and make excuse for their husbands’ betray.
The stronger Ego we own, the higher chance we use this coping mechanism. The more confident we are, the less likely we use this method, because when we reach that point, we have already strong enough mentally / psychologically to admit our mistakes / weakness, without blindfold the problems.
Many times we can’t solve the problem is because we refuse to see the problems. Abuse is one of them. People deny it happens so they never willing to handle it.
Do you use this defense mechanism very often? How do you deal with failure or uncomfortable situation?