Psychology # 44 : The Mascot (Clown)

 

 

You noticed any child acting like this?

 

Even in workplace, I worked with people who always laugh for silly jokes or minor / non-sense things.

 

At surface, they seem happy for live and optimistic for everything, but I just knew they are masking their insecure / shame and guilty by fake happiness.

 

That’s why we heard stories from time to time, mentioning this or that person seems happy all times but how come they commit suicide or doing horrible things to others suddenly.

 

 

What do you think? You met someone like this?

Psychology # 28 : Displacement

 

That’s why people say the person who anger with you is not really related to what you do sometimes.

 

It’s probably they had a bad day or going through some struggles in life that they can’t deal with.

 

So are you always use “displacement” to escape from your troubles?

Quote of the day # 31 : Dysfunctional Family Role

The scapegoat – typically the child often described as imitating, deceitful, hostile and disobedient.

 

There are families that always focus on a specific child, claiming that he / she is the root of all problems in family.

 

Do you recognize one in your circle of friends? Or sadly you actually one of these scapegoat?  What’s your opinion?

 

Photo credit : Pixabay – cherylholt

Psychology # 23 : Triangulation

 

 

When I was young, I didn’t know what exactly going on in the dysfunctional family.

 

But somehow I just feel it’s not what it supposed to be.  The family roles are so distorted and confused.  My parents like child and me, as a kid like a parent.

 

Not only responsible for many housework, but also my parents’ emotional support.  I hate this but I was too young to figure things out and stand up for myself.

 

Nowadays, whenever I heard someone say their kids are as like as their friends / buddies. This make me feel uncomfortable because kids are kids, they are not suppose to be your friends, this is a psychological abuse because child is not yet developed (mentally) to listen your struggles, such as marriage problems, emotional issues.

 

Please, let kids be kids.

Quote of the day # 29 : Scapegoat Children

“Scapegoat” children grabs their swords, shields and do battle against things that are “wrong” in the families.

 

Hope you are not one of the “scapegoat” child in the dysfunctional family.  But if you are, then you are the warrior!

 

Photo credit : Pixabay – DesignerArun

Psychology # 15 – Scapegoating

 

It took me years to understand the term of “scapegoating”, the more I gain the knowledge, the more anger / frustration I got.

 

Wish I can understand this term when I was young, it can definitely save me lots of energy / time towards healing journey.

 

Hope less people will be trapped like me for so long.

Psychology # 13 – Bunny Boiling

 

 

This is a common defense mechanism, abusers pay lots of efforts to observe, destroy things that important to victims.

 

In such, they can manipulate victims – a strong message deliver that if targets don’t follow orders, they never can enjoy what they love and treasure.

 

When I was young, my abusive dad used to damage and destroy things that I care.  I was so sad, miserable and can’t figure out why parent would do this to their kids if they love them.

 

Nowadays, I know this is an act of manipulation and show off their power.

 

And you? have you experienced similar things?

Quote of the day # 20: Scapegoat – The truth teller

Scapegoat is the truth teller,

who complaining problems and confronts parent

on the dysfunctional family situation.

 

Anyone who following my blog should understand I’m a scapegoat in dysfunctional family.

 

Years ago, I can hardly understand what’s the meaning of terms e.g. narcissistic, scapegoat and dysfunctional etc.

 

I just feel something wrong but my knowledge base was not well enough to figure out chaos / struggles in my life.  Gladly I love to read / listen podcasts etc to put myself to unlearn and relearn many things.

 

Family / parents are always the taboos to discuss, people love to see shiny things or listen touching / lovely family stories.  Because people don’t feel comfortable to disclose so more dirty secrets are hidden.

 

Are you the truth teller? Are you suffering for being honest to yourself?  Please share your thoughts or this post so we help to raise public awareness.

 

 

Image credit : Pixabay – Foundry

Psychology # 9 – Toxic Relationship

 

Stop letting people who do too little for you – control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions

– Will Smith

 

 

Many abused child who raised in dysfunctional / toxic family, like me, are not able to aware toxic family system.

 

This is what we get used to : chaos, abused, bullied, neglect, either physically or emotionally, even though when adults of abusive family survived and manage to stumble upon adulthood, but many of us still stuck at unhealthy mindset / behaviors.

 

Some of us acknowledge the challenge but don’t know how to get out from the crap; others may even don’t realize the effects on them, so when you don’t see the problem, you can never know the problem need to be fixed.

 

Many people don’t understand why victims keep on attracting or tolerate abusers / narcissists continuously into their lives.

 

Can’t explain all cases but according to my own experiences, I would say many of us are not conscious of our choices, it might because the loneliness or naive.

 

Many seem uncomfortable to hang around with people who are sweet, nice, kind or treat us well with respect, sadly this is not what we accustomed to when we were young, we are so afraid or subconsciously we don’t believe we deserve to be loved.

 

That’s why many professionals said it can easily take a whole life to heal simply few minutes or one incident of trauma.

 

Do you agree? Please share your comments or share this post to increase pubic awareness.