This Quote described my situation at dysfunctional family very well.
According to my observation, it’s not only happen in family system, but also in everyday life, such as workplace.
Many times I observed colleagues / bosses will favorite a specific staff, in order to show his / her hate on another person. Body languages displayed that these targets people are no longer worthy in their eyes.
And if it happens in family, it can destroy self-esteem / self-worth of a child, which in turn will affect his / her all aspect of life.
In scapegoating, one of the authority figures made a decision that somebody in the family has to be the bad guy.
A healthy family is one that cherish individuality. You gained support while manage to develop your own self identity.
In unhealthy / dysfunctional family, the boundaries are violated and everyone is so enmeshed together emotionally.
This structure will destroy child development, his / her individuality which end up ruin his / her relationship with others when they step into adulthood or have their own families.
How’s your family system and how it affect you?
Lead to self-sabotage, destructive relationship behavior, neediness, or a variety of other attachment problems.
You noticed any child acting like this?
Even in workplace, I worked with people who always laugh for silly jokes or minor / non-sense things.
At surface, they seem happy for live and optimistic for everything, but I just knew they are masking their insecure / shame and guilty by fake happiness.
That’s why we heard stories from time to time, mentioning this or that person seems happy all times but how come they commit suicide or doing horrible things to others suddenly.
What do you think? You met someone like this?
That’s why people say the person who anger with you is not really related to what you do sometimes.
It’s probably they had a bad day or going through some struggles in life that they can’t deal with.
So are you always use “displacement” to escape from your troubles?
The scapegoat – typically the child often described as imitating, deceitful, hostile and disobedient.
There are families that always focus on a specific child, claiming that he / she is the root of all problems in family.
Do you recognize one in your circle of friends? Or sadly you actually one of these scapegoat? What’s your opinion?
Photo credit : Pixabay – cherylholt
When I was young, I didn’t know what exactly going on in the dysfunctional family.
But somehow I just feel it’s not what it supposed to be. The family roles are so distorted and confused. My parents like child and me, as a kid like a parent.
Not only responsible for many housework, but also my parents’ emotional support. I hate this but I was too young to figure things out and stand up for myself.
Nowadays, whenever I heard someone say their kids are as like as their friends / buddies. This make me feel uncomfortable because kids are kids, they are not suppose to be your friends, this is a psychological abuse because child is not yet developed (mentally) to listen your struggles, such as marriage problems, emotional issues.
Please, let kids be kids.
“Scapegoat” children grabs their swords, shields and do battle against things that are “wrong” in the families.
Hope you are not one of the “scapegoat” child in the dysfunctional family. But if you are, then you are the warrior!
Photo credit : Pixabay – DesignerArun