Pressure on you to make narcissistic family look good to outsiders. Rejection or abandonment if you do not.
Family is anyone who loves you unconditionally.
Family scapegoat always the one who recognize the lie, break free and strive to heal themselves.
You’re scapegoated and labeled as self-centered for having your own wishes, interests, and face punishment if you pursue them.
In toxic family, when targeted child speaks up or confront the abuse, other family members will join together to attack the abused child, protect narcissistic parent blindly and pretend everything is fine.
Feel out of touch with your real self. Many children of toxic parents find it exceptionally difficult to identify who they are once they grow up.
Scapegoat can be attracted to people who repeatedly neglect, abuse or victimize them, which bolsters shame and self-blame.
I know this term very well, and guess it’s very familiar to abused survivor.
In toxic / abusive family, family members love to use this skill to trap the victims. Reasons why many survivors struggling a lot in healing because they are not only dealing with the abuse, but also the guilt and shame within.
As a human, we born to feel guilty for doing bad things, or treat others badly especially if they are our blood-related family members. We were raged for the abuse but at the same time abusers will use “guilt” to fool us, lead us to think this is our fault for not forgiving or “moving on” etc.
That’s why it’s takes lots of time and energy for any healing journey.