In a dysfunctional family, parents are inadequate or abusive, not enough love available for children.
This sets up an unconscious competition between the children.
This Quote described my situation at dysfunctional family very well.
According to my observation, it’s not only happen in family system, but also in everyday life, such as workplace.
Many times I observed colleagues / bosses will favorite a specific staff, in order to show his / her hate on another person. Body languages displayed that these targets people are no longer worthy in their eyes.
And if it happens in family, it can destroy self-esteem / self-worth of a child, which in turn will affect his / her all aspect of life.
Many abuse survivor become “Adult Children” though they stop into adulthood. It’s kind of like an adult look outside but there’s a child live within.
I’m very conscious about this symptoms and try my best to heal my inner child. But from time to time I still struggle with destructive behavior and act like a child, emotionally and psychologically.
The healing journey is long but as long as we keep moving forward, we will be fine.
What do you think?
This is very different from the “closed family”.
Closed Handed family is all members in the family is kind of tied together in a unhealthy way. They can’t grow emotionally and individuality is disappear in this type of family.
I cherish closed and supported family, but not the one that over-cling together. The more you love your child, the more you need to let them grow and have their own lives.
What do you think?
A healthy family is one that cherish individuality. You gained support while manage to develop your own self identity.
In unhealthy / dysfunctional family, the boundaries are violated and everyone is so enmeshed together emotionally.
This structure will destroy child development, his / her individuality which end up ruin his / her relationship with others when they step into adulthood or have their own families.
How’s your family system and how it affect you?