You are not to blame for what happened to you as a child, but you can do something about it now!
It’s extremely tough went through all traumatic events as a child. But now as an adult, we can make changes according to our own wishes. Do you agree?
Photo credit : Pixabay – ThePixelman
The most damaging aspect of abuse is the trauma to our hearts and souls from being betrayed by people that we love and trust.
Betray is one of the most damaging thing to our soul / spirits. We may never get heal completely once our heart was broken.
Photo credit : Pixabay – benscherjon
This is not new to many of abuse survivors, people don’t quite understand why victims / survivors don’t fight for themselves or “do something”.
Sure there are strong individuals will figure it all out and stand up for themselves at early age of abuse. But there are times when victims are abused for a longer period of time, especially without enough support system, this will lead them to this “learned helplessness” mode.
I knew it because I was there. There were times I just feel no matter I do was useless and felt stuck. This until I started to pick myself up from the bottom, read and learn as many as possible I can from other survivors / experts, sooner or later, you will notice there’s a light at the end of tunnel.
So don’t give up yourself even though others give you up. Stay strong!
People who repeatedly attack your confidence and self esteem are well aware of your potential…..Even if you are not.
Remember there’s a saying “nobody will kick an un-barking dog”. Sometimes, the more a person attack you is a sign that he / she is envy of what you have.
They need to attack your confidence, drag you down in order to make themselves look good or feel better.
Don’t you agree?
Photo credit : Pixabay – Greyerbaby
It’s not a new term for many abused survivors, many of us still struggling with all hurtful flashbacks.
Used to be ….My days can be ruined completely when those bad memories / wordings / behaviors reached my mind. My tears came down uncontrollably. It hurts like hell.
Please share your comments and others so more people understand what’s it about emotional abuse.
This is a common defense mechanism, abusers pay lots of efforts to observe, destroy things that important to victims.
In such, they can manipulate victims – a strong message deliver that if targets don’t follow orders, they never can enjoy what they love and treasure.
When I was young, my abusive dad used to damage and destroy things that I care. I was so sad, miserable and can’t figure out why parent would do this to their kids if they love them.
Nowadays, I know this is an act of manipulation and show off their power.
And you? have you experienced similar things?
This is a very common attribution, happens not only in abusive stories but all kinds of incidents at work / in public.
People tend to blame the victims and that’s why make it difficult for survivors to speak up or stand up for themselves. Lack of supports and misunderstandings make victims take all responsibilities of abuse on their own hands.
The worst, after the abuse, survivors are those who need to forgive and forget even though it’s impossible in many of cases. Once again we put extra burden on their shoulders and give permissions for abusers to escape from their faults, saying something like, well…he / she didn’t mean to do this. That’s terrible.
Have you ever behave in similar way? Please comment and share this post so more people aware what’s our unconscious behavior lead us to.
Strong women wear their pain like stilettos,
no matter how much it hurts, all you see is the beauty of it.
No doubt live is tough especially when you are struggling in something that bothering you, or dealing with all emotional baggage that carried from the past.
But let’s try, stand tall and “act” like a sexy bitch before we enter any rooms, to conquer our fear.
Are you strong? mentally tough?
Image credit : Pixabay – OpenClipartVectors
Feed Your Mind #1
Started this series, I know how difficult it is to survive and act normal after years of abuse. Our soul, spirits, self-esteem / self-confidence are all shattered to pieces on floor.
Of course it’s essential to educate public and break silence, many years ago people don’t feel alright to discuss AIDS, Homosexual etc. But the more we share and discuss, taboos will soon become normal to be addressed.
But at the same time since we, adult survivors don’t have good model to guide us : what’s right and good for us, I strongly feel self-education is essential during the healing journey, please try to search and learn from as many as mentors you can locate, either from immediate environment (quite difficult for many of us because we tend to stay an arm distance from crowd to protect ourselves) or internet.
At the end, we can’t keep on complaining, feel sorry for our past and depressed all times, we got to be strong, stand up tall and pick up the brains from others, in order to fight for lives that we dream of.
Watched below interesting video, the author really caught my attention because he seems understand very much about relationships, especially for those who were abused from childhood or suffered from trauma.
Pin point relationship issues that we adult survivors go through in adult relationships and how we react to environment / surrounding people.
If you don’t understand or want to let others know how it feels as an adult survivor, this is a good video to share. And if you are a survivor, it might enlighten your perspective.
Haven’t read the book yet (by Neil Strauss) but this short 11 minutes video already spoke our minds. I felt connected to what he mentioned. It’s hard to someone who know how you actually feel or struggles you going through.
Enjoy and let me know how you feel about his thoughts.