Unhealthy view of relationships – if a parent who exploded, constantly overcritical, vanished or demanded perfection, we don’t have a healthy view of real, caring relationships.
Can’t recall the name but many years ago read a memoir about a boy who was seriously abused in his childhood, end up he has different personalities, this is an extreme case.
But very often we heard people who was abused in childhood may forget all things happened completely. They can’t remember a person / incident etc.
Not because they lost memories but simply the trauma was so severe so they just dissociated from the reality in order to survive.
In some cases, they suddenly remember everything and all flashbacks drive them crazy because the truth is too pain to accept.
You heard any stories like this?
You may encounter this psychological attributes from time to time.
If you are involved in any abusive / toxic relationships, then it becomes a pattern of how abusers treat their victims.
In dysfunctional family, abusive parents will verbally / psychological or emotional abuse their child, then tell lies to outsiders : saying how bad their children are so outsiders will trust what they heard.
You spot this symptoms in any situation?
This defense mechanism can be found in many situation.
That’s why when we found someone who’s throwing temper, yelling and screaming at others, most of the times it’s not about that situation / person, instead, something happen underneath that abuser.
Have you ever meet someone love to project their emotions / problems / frustrations to others?
How you handle this?
I was very confused why Narcissists can always escape from their abusive behavior while everyone adore him / her without notice their true personality.
Spent lots of time to research and understand the truth behind, finally a new term “narcissist supply”came up to me. Wow. Now I knew there’s a logic of demand and supply.
If there’s a narcissist, it must have someone to supply this to fill his / her ego. Otherwise, narcissist can’t exist without support.
My younger sister is typically the supplier for my abusive / narcissistic father. The more she supports him the more he feel comfortable to do whatever he wants, while keeping a nice guy image to the public.
What I found people who is willing to devote to narcissistic supply, usually is related to co-dependent characteristic. Narcissists bribe them with fake attention / love, they spot the supplier lack of confidence and self-esteem so take the advantage of them.
I used to jealous my sister’s privilege but not now. She’s very depressed, no friends and no jobs due to all the toxic relationship she built up with narcissist. She became resentful and dependent, cling to relationships.
It’s sad to watch and remind myself better work harder on my own self-improvement because I don’t want to follow her path.
This is a tricky and high-level mental manipulative technique.
Common found in abusive / toxic relationship in destructive system, such as family and workplace.
Are you familiar with this? Please share your experience.
Because of my insecure, I used to surround myself with toxic or people that do nothing good to me.
It happens commonly among abused survivors, we don’t know how to establish and nurture a healthy relationship.
Or many times because of our lack of confidence and low self-esteem issues, we tend to attract toxic people, who spot our weakness right away, which in turn drag our lives even further downward.
Today, though I am still struggling with relationship issues, but I am more alert to my surroundings.
How about you? You attract the right people to your live or you just accept anyone step into your life? Even though they are harm to you?
Scapegoat is the truth teller,
who complaining problems and confronts parent
on the dysfunctional family situation.
Anyone who following my blog should understand I’m a scapegoat in dysfunctional family.
Years ago, I can hardly understand what’s the meaning of terms e.g. narcissistic, scapegoat and dysfunctional etc.
I just feel something wrong but my knowledge base was not well enough to figure out chaos / struggles in my life. Gladly I love to read / listen podcasts etc to put myself to unlearn and relearn many things.
Family / parents are always the taboos to discuss, people love to see shiny things or listen touching / lovely family stories. Because people don’t feel comfortable to disclose so more dirty secrets are hidden.
Are you the truth teller? Are you suffering for being honest to yourself? Please share your thoughts or this post so we help to raise public awareness.
Image credit : Pixabay – Foundry
The more I educated myself, the more I realized I actually attract many narcissists into my life. Guess it’s because I used to have a very low self-esteem and no ideas about healthy boundaries.
Hope many people will understand this personality disorder as early as possible. It took me years to figure things out and start my healing journey.
How about you? Have you ever meet someone consist of this character? How do you deal with them?