Psychology # 61 : Reaction Formation

We human afraid of being rejected or any uncomfortable feelings.

 

In order to save face and pretend nothing is happen, to protect our self-ego, we may act like nothing is happening and everything is fine.

 

That’s sad because if we don’t admit there’s a problem, we can never heal.

 

Do you recognize this symptoms from anyone you know?

Psychology # 56 : Stockholm Syndrome

This explains why some of the victims stay with their abusers.

 

When we were abused, we need to adjust our mindset, attitude and behaviors in order to survive in the toxic environment.

 

Sooner or later, we forget who we are or what we are capable of, which ends up may become support to abusers.

 

That’s sad and tragic.  Abuse is a complicated issue and difficult to be explained straight forward.

 

What do you think? do you believe victims will be brainwashed and become obedient to the abusers after a long history of abuse?

 

 

Psychology # 53 : Psychological Boundries

I found not too many people understand the importance of psychological boundaries.

 

Especially for those who were abused for a long time, they lost the identity and fear of missing out or abandonment.  This make them very valuable, either let others step over their boundaries and being controlled by others’ desire and need.

 

Or they become very controlling and want to step in other business. Always want to check and spy on their love ones, sadly, this unhealthy clinging scare people away.

 

How about you? Do you protect your psychological boundaries? Or let others violate according to their needs?

Psychology # 49 : Repression

 

 

We should pay attention of children’s dreams, since they are not mature enough to express their feelings / thoughts but through their descriptions of dreams, we will get some ideas about their fear / concerns and stories that never told us.

 

Or sometimes I encountered people who claim they are “Morale” while keep on throwing dirty jokes, this actually indicate their repressed sexual desire at certain level.  I came across this situation several times and they are all female.

 

We never can trust what someone say in surface, a slip of tongue may express more about their hidden desire / value.  Watch out!

 

What do you think?

Psychology # 46 : Smear Campaigns

 

 

You may encounter this psychological attributes from time to time.

 

If you are involved in any abusive / toxic relationships, then it becomes a pattern of how abusers treat their victims.

 

In dysfunctional family, abusive parents will verbally / psychological or emotional abuse their child, then tell lies to outsiders : saying how bad their children are so outsiders will trust what they heard.

 

You spot this symptoms in any situation?

 

 

Psychology # 45 : Undoing

 

 

Emotional Abusers may use this tactic often, you were insulted, humiliated or verbally abused, next moment they will praise / adore you.

 

This not only confused the victims but also explain quite a bit why victims chose to stay in an unhealthy relationship.

 

Abusers give an impression to victims that they don’t meant to hurt them, and at the end they still love the victims.

 

What do you think?  Have you ever experienced this?

 

 

 

Quote 50 : Hurt people Hurt people

 

 

The older I get the more I understand this theory, people who hurt others are actually the most unhappiest person.

 

Something happened in their lives that they can’t or not willing to deal with, instead, they project their problems / frustration / anger on others.

 

But it doesn’t mean their behaviors are acceptable. I believe we all are human so have the power to chose what we suppose to do.

 

How do you think about this?

 

Please comment or share this to someone you think they are going through difficult relationship right now.

Quote 202- Parents In Dysfunctional Families 5

Parent control you to giving you expensive gifts then expect something in return.

Quote # 47 – Tears

 

 

I used to cried a lot, so confused, frustrated and lived in foggy days.

 

The more self-education I gained, the more strength and clarity I got about my situation.

 

Today, I no longer spent as much as time like before: feeling depressed or sorry for myself, though still feel frustrated from time to time but it’s more controllable.

 

 

How about you? How you deal with your past?