I found not too many people understand the importance of psychological boundaries.
Especially for those who were abused for a long time, they lost the identity and fear of missing out or abandonment. This make them very valuable, either let others step over their boundaries and being controlled by others’ desire and need.
Or they become very controlling and want to step in other business. Always want to check and spy on their love ones, sadly, this unhealthy clinging scare people away.
How about you? Do you protect your psychological boundaries? Or let others violate according to their needs?
It’s kind of difficult to deal with this type of attitudes.
We never easy to catch if that person is really understand or willing to follow through the commitment or not.
You have experience to deal with this kind of situation? Or this is actually your way of handling stress / conflict?
Effects of Childhood Trauma is unpredictable and can destroy individual over lifespan.
Many adult survivor still controlled by their inner child no matter what age they reach. They may react to situation like a child even though they physically matured enough to handle the situation.
Personally, this is one of the weakness I’m still working on it. Sometimes I just lead by my inner child emotion and forget I’m an adult and capable to own my life now.
How about You? Do you have an inner child within?
Can’t recall the name but many years ago read a memoir about a boy who was seriously abused in his childhood, end up he has different personalities, this is an extreme case.
But very often we heard people who was abused in childhood may forget all things happened completely. They can’t remember a person / incident etc.
Not because they lost memories but simply the trauma was so severe so they just dissociated from the reality in order to survive.
In some cases, they suddenly remember everything and all flashbacks drive them crazy because the truth is too pain to accept.
You heard any stories like this?
You noticed any child acting like this?
Even in workplace, I worked with people who always laugh for silly jokes or minor / non-sense things.
At surface, they seem happy for live and optimistic for everything, but I just knew they are masking their insecure / shame and guilty by fake happiness.
That’s why we heard stories from time to time, mentioning this or that person seems happy all times but how come they commit suicide or doing horrible things to others suddenly.
What do you think? You met someone like this?
For many abuse survivors, the urge to have love / attention is so severe, since this is what they are lack of when they grew up in dysfunctional family.
This can lead to another cycle of trauma if we are not be careful of our relationship pattern.
From time to time I met people who jump from this to that relationship non-stop, they seem enjoy very much for the FAKE attention, but seldom see they are deeply connected to anyone.
At the end of the day, they are staring at the wall alone and die empty inside. It’s sad.
You know someone owns this attribute? How do you feel about their inner conflicts?