Psychology # 49 : Repression

 

 

We should pay attention of children’s dreams, since they are not mature enough to express their feelings / thoughts but through their descriptions of dreams, we will get some ideas about their fear / concerns and stories that never told us.

 

Or sometimes I encountered people who claim they are “Morale” while keep on throwing dirty jokes, this actually indicate their repressed sexual desire at certain level.  I came across this situation several times and they are all female.

 

We never can trust what someone say in surface, a slip of tongue may express more about their hidden desire / value.  Watch out!

 

What do you think?

Psychology # 48 : Inner Child

 

 

Effects of Childhood Trauma is unpredictable and can destroy individual over lifespan.

 

Many adult survivor still controlled by their inner child no matter what age they reach.  They may react to situation like a child even though they physically matured enough to handle the situation.

 

Personally, this is one of the weakness I’m still working on it.  Sometimes I just lead by my inner child emotion and forget I’m an adult and capable to own my life now.

 

How about You? Do you have an inner child within?

Psychology # 47 : Dissociation

 

 

Can’t recall the name but many years ago read a memoir about a boy who was seriously abused in his childhood, end up he has different personalities, this is an extreme case.

 

But very often we heard people who was abused in childhood may forget all things happened completely. They can’t remember a person / incident etc.

 

Not because they lost memories but simply the trauma was so severe so they just dissociated from the reality in order to survive.

 

In some cases, they suddenly remember everything and all flashbacks drive them crazy because the truth is too pain to accept.

 

You heard any stories like this?

Psychology # 46 : Smear Campaigns

 

 

You may encounter this psychological attributes from time to time.

 

If you are involved in any abusive / toxic relationships, then it becomes a pattern of how abusers treat their victims.

 

In dysfunctional family, abusive parents will verbally / psychological or emotional abuse their child, then tell lies to outsiders : saying how bad their children are so outsiders will trust what they heard.

 

You spot this symptoms in any situation?

 

 

Psychology # 45 : Undoing

 

 

Emotional Abusers may use this tactic often, you were insulted, humiliated or verbally abused, next moment they will praise / adore you.

 

This not only confused the victims but also explain quite a bit why victims chose to stay in an unhealthy relationship.

 

Abusers give an impression to victims that they don’t meant to hurt them, and at the end they still love the victims.

 

What do you think?  Have you ever experienced this?

 

 

 

Psychology # 41 : Perfectionism

 

 

Before now, I was kind of “perfectionist”, this gave me lots of pressure and waste energy on unimportant tasks.

 

When I wanted to do something, I would dive in and worked my ass off, but as soon as I understood the psychology behind “perfectionist”, I changed my attitudes.

 

Still worked hard but manage to let go so don’t drive myself nuts.  Today I understand the difference between  want to make things better, and fear of judgment or worry be viewed as worthless.

 

Are you perfectionist? or You know someone own this behavior?

Psychology # 40 : Confirmation Bias

 

 

This cognitive bias can be found in many situation, e.g. when we believe something at the first place, we will look for signs / evidence to prove our beliefs, even though it’s non-sense / urological.

 

That’s why it’s so important to evaluate our thoughts always because it may mislead our upcoming behaviors.

 

How about you? Do you have this kind of bias that distort your perspectives often?

 

 

Psychology # 39 : Regression

 

 

After Abuse, victims may chose to lock themselves up, stay isolated from the crowd / society or engage in destructive behaviors.

 

That’s why the abuse is not only affect the moment of abuse, but most damaging is years after abused incident.

 

People simply underestimate the duration of healing journey.

 

Do you agree?

Psychology # 38 : True and False Self

 

 

Abusers may act different in public and behind doors.  This is the tactic they use to charm and lie to others.

 

Victims may have difficulties to explain their situations as it’s hard to find outsiders acknowledge the truth behind scenes.

 

At the same time, victims may also pretend as a happy person, living in a dream life but in fact they are suffering from abuse.

 

Are you good at spoting these lies?  Are you living 2 different lives?