Quote 74 : Verbal Abuse

Abuser may say something very upsetting to the victim and after seeing her reaction add, “it was just a joke”.

Abuse is not OK in any form.  Jokes that hurt are abusive.

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Quote 180 – Psychological harm to abused child 1

Doubting your self-worth, believing you are bad or defective.

Quote 153 – Adult trauma bonds

People who fall into adult trauma bonds seek to the rescued from their painful childhood.

They crave validation from others in an attempt to escape the shame that defines them.

Psychology # 41 : Perfectionism

 

 

Before now, I was kind of “perfectionist”, this gave me lots of pressure and waste energy on unimportant tasks.

 

When I wanted to do something, I would dive in and worked my ass off, but as soon as I understood the psychology behind “perfectionist”, I changed my attitudes.

 

Still worked hard but manage to let go so don’t drive myself nuts.  Today I understand the difference between  want to make things better, and fear of judgment or worry be viewed as worthless.

 

Are you perfectionist? or You know someone own this behavior?

Psychology # 26 : Denial

 

 

Um…I would say this is very common around us.

 

The most common I found is when people refuse to be judged about their lovers / partners / husbands etc., they tend to deny the truth even though the symptoms / signs are obviously appear in front of them.

 

E.g. Wives will deny and make excuse for their husbands’ betray.

 

The stronger Ego we own, the higher chance we use this coping mechanism.  The more confident we are, the less likely we use this method, because when we reach that point, we have already strong enough mentally / psychologically to admit our mistakes / weakness, without blindfold the problems.

 

Many times we can’t solve the problem is because we refuse to see the problems.  Abuse is one of them.  People deny it happens so they never willing to handle it.

 

Do you use this defense mechanism very often?  How do you deal with failure or uncomfortable situation?