You may encounter this psychological attributes from time to time.
If you are involved in any abusive / toxic relationships, then it becomes a pattern of how abusers treat their victims.
In dysfunctional family, abusive parents will verbally / psychological or emotional abuse their child, then tell lies to outsiders : saying how bad their children are so outsiders will trust what they heard.
You spot this symptoms in any situation?
For many abuse survivors, the urge to have love / attention is so severe, since this is what they are lack of when they grew up in dysfunctional family.
This can lead to another cycle of trauma if we are not be careful of our relationship pattern.
From time to time I met people who jump from this to that relationship non-stop, they seem enjoy very much for the FAKE attention, but seldom see they are deeply connected to anyone.
At the end of the day, they are staring at the wall alone and die empty inside. It’s sad.
You know someone owns this attribute? How do you feel about their inner conflicts?
The older I get the more I understand this theory, people who hurt others are actually the most unhappiest person.
Something happened in their lives that they can’t or not willing to deal with, instead, they project their problems / frustration / anger on others.
But it doesn’t mean their behaviors are acceptable. I believe we all are human so have the power to chose what we suppose to do.
How do you think about this?
Please comment or share this to someone you think they are going through difficult relationship right now.
Trust is like a paper, once it’s crumpled it can’t be perfect.
Don’t ruin your trust with others. Once it’s damaged, we can hardly amend it.
That’s why we have to watch our mouth, words and behaviors constantly. What do you think?
Photo credit : Pixabay – Jobbe
This defense mechanism can be found in many situation.
That’s why when we found someone who’s throwing temper, yelling and screaming at others, most of the times it’s not about that situation / person, instead, something happen underneath that abuser.
Have you ever meet someone love to project their emotions / problems / frustrations to others?
How you handle this?
Um…I would say this is very common around us.
The most common I found is when people refuse to be judged about their lovers / partners / husbands etc., they tend to deny the truth even though the symptoms / signs are obviously appear in front of them.
E.g. Wives will deny and make excuse for their husbands’ betray.
The stronger Ego we own, the higher chance we use this coping mechanism. The more confident we are, the less likely we use this method, because when we reach that point, we have already strong enough mentally / psychologically to admit our mistakes / weakness, without blindfold the problems.
Many times we can’t solve the problem is because we refuse to see the problems. Abuse is one of them. People deny it happens so they never willing to handle it.
Do you use this defense mechanism very often? How do you deal with failure or uncomfortable situation?