Many of child abuse survivors still love their parents, and have been fed a constant narrative that they were the problem.
Be careful with your words. once they’re said, they can be only forgiven, not forgotten.
Survivors of family scapegoating must learn to trust their feelings and perceptions.
Don’t know if it’s common or not, but I do find some of the people feel trapped in toxic relationship, not because they love that person but scare of leaving the comfort zone.
This is true that as long as we get used to the environment, we feel it’s more safe and secure to stay in the same old situation, even though it hurts, rather than jump the cliff to explore another chance.
It’s scary, i knew it.
What do you think? Are you one of them? or you know someone like this?
Change is painful, but nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you didn’t belong.
You may encounter this psychological attributes from time to time.
If you are involved in any abusive / toxic relationships, then it becomes a pattern of how abusers treat their victims.
In dysfunctional family, abusive parents will verbally / psychological or emotional abuse their child, then tell lies to outsiders : saying how bad their children are so outsiders will trust what they heard.
You spot this symptoms in any situation?
Parents actively resist you showing autonomy and becoming an independently entity.
The older I get the more I understand this theory, people who hurt others are actually the most unhappiest person.
Something happened in their lives that they can’t or not willing to deal with, instead, they project their problems / frustration / anger on others.
But it doesn’t mean their behaviors are acceptable. I believe we all are human so have the power to chose what we suppose to do.
How do you think about this?
Please comment or share this to someone you think they are going through difficult relationship right now.
Abusers may act different in public and behind doors. This is the tactic they use to charm and lie to others.
Victims may have difficulties to explain their situations as it’s hard to find outsiders acknowledge the truth behind scenes.
At the same time, victims may also pretend as a happy person, living in a dream life but in fact they are suffering from abuse.
Are you good at spoting these lies? Are you living 2 different lives?