I found not too many people understand the importance of psychological boundaries.
Especially for those who were abused for a long time, they lost the identity and fear of missing out or abandonment. This make them very valuable, either let others step over their boundaries and being controlled by others’ desire and need.
Or they become very controlling and want to step in other business. Always want to check and spy on their love ones, sadly, this unhealthy clinging scare people away.
How about you? Do you protect your psychological boundaries? Or let others violate according to their needs?
It’s kind of difficult to deal with this type of attitudes.
We never easy to catch if that person is really understand or willing to follow through the commitment or not.
You have experience to deal with this kind of situation? Or this is actually your way of handling stress / conflict?
Don’t know if it’s common or not, but I do find some of the people feel trapped in toxic relationship, not because they love that person but scare of leaving the comfort zone.
This is true that as long as we get used to the environment, we feel it’s more safe and secure to stay in the same old situation, even though it hurts, rather than jump the cliff to explore another chance.
It’s scary, i knew it.
What do you think? Are you one of them? or you know someone like this?
The older I get the more I understand this theory, people who hurt others are actually the most unhappiest person.
Something happened in their lives that they can’t or not willing to deal with, instead, they project their problems / frustration / anger on others.
But it doesn’t mean their behaviors are acceptable. I believe we all are human so have the power to chose what we suppose to do.
How do you think about this?
Please comment or share this to someone you think they are going through difficult relationship right now.
Abusers may act different in public and behind doors. This is the tactic they use to charm and lie to others.
Victims may have difficulties to explain their situations as it’s hard to find outsiders acknowledge the truth behind scenes.
At the same time, victims may also pretend as a happy person, living in a dream life but in fact they are suffering from abuse.
Are you good at spoting these lies? Are you living 2 different lives?
Trust is like a paper, once it’s crumpled it can’t be perfect.
Don’t ruin your trust with others. Once it’s damaged, we can hardly amend it.
That’s why we have to watch our mouth, words and behaviors constantly. What do you think?
Photo credit : Pixabay – Jobbe
This defense mechanism can be found in many situation.
That’s why when we found someone who’s throwing temper, yelling and screaming at others, most of the times it’s not about that situation / person, instead, something happen underneath that abuser.
Have you ever meet someone love to project their emotions / problems / frustrations to others?
How you handle this?
This is very common in dysfunctional / toxic family, or even at toxic work environment.
Abuser choose ignore or pretend victims are not exist, at the same time, they may over-empathize another person’s behavior, praise and adore them with no sense.
The aim is to downgrade the status of victim, make them know that they are not valuable / worthy to the abuser. This can damage target’s self-esteem / confidence seriously as they may feel / think they are useless.
I was very confused why Narcissists can always escape from their abusive behavior while everyone adore him / her without notice their true personality.
Spent lots of time to research and understand the truth behind, finally a new term “narcissist supply”came up to me. Wow. Now I knew there’s a logic of demand and supply.
If there’s a narcissist, it must have someone to supply this to fill his / her ego. Otherwise, narcissist can’t exist without support.
My younger sister is typically the supplier for my abusive / narcissistic father. The more she supports him the more he feel comfortable to do whatever he wants, while keeping a nice guy image to the public.
What I found people who is willing to devote to narcissistic supply, usually is related to co-dependent characteristic. Narcissists bribe them with fake attention / love, they spot the supplier lack of confidence and self-esteem so take the advantage of them.
I used to jealous my sister’s privilege but not now. She’s very depressed, no friends and no jobs due to all the toxic relationship she built up with narcissist. She became resentful and dependent, cling to relationships.
It’s sad to watch and remind myself better work harder on my own self-improvement because I don’t want to follow her path.
The scapegoat is the child who refuses to look content or stay silent in the unbearable atmosphere created in the family.
– Glynis Sherwood
Sometimes the one who stand out is probably the one who notice the dysfunction. Don’t you agree?
Photo credit : Pixabay – Kaboompics