Family scapegoat always the one who recognize the lie, break free and strive to heal themselves.
What hurts you today makes you stronger tomorrow.
Truly evil people don’t just hurt others.
They take pride in the pain they cause and then blame their victims.
There are people who love to earn their happiness / self-esteem by making others feel bad / hurt.
Have you ever met this kind of person? How do you deal with it?
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I know this term very well, and guess it’s very familiar to abused survivor.
In toxic / abusive family, family members love to use this skill to trap the victims. Reasons why many survivors struggling a lot in healing because they are not only dealing with the abuse, but also the guilt and shame within.
As a human, we born to feel guilty for doing bad things, or treat others badly especially if they are our blood-related family members. We were raged for the abuse but at the same time abusers will use “guilt” to fool us, lead us to think this is our fault for not forgiving or “moving on” etc.
That’s why it’s takes lots of time and energy for any healing journey.
Be careful what you say, you can say something hurtful in 10 seconds,
but 10 years later, the wounds are still there.
– Joel Osteen
Many times, flashbacks bombarded us simply because some of the hurtful words we listened years ago.
Do you agree? Please mind your words, it hurts as like as physical wounds that you caused.
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You’ve got one go in life, so make the most of it. – Richard Brandson
Don’t let the past ruin your current and future life. Stay focus and move on.
Similar to many survivors, we felt sorry occasionally for the time we have lost / stolen by abusers, sometimes sad memories bombarded me and it took me hours / days to reclaim my peace at mind.
I knew I can’t get the time back I lost, thus at the same time I reminded myself I only have one life to live so I better make the most of it, now it’s my turn to live it according to my own wish.
How do you make the most of your life? Are you conscious about how short of life is?
Let me know how you live your life or share with someone who you think is struggling in their life now.
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This is a very common attribution, happens not only in abusive stories but all kinds of incidents at work / in public.
People tend to blame the victims and that’s why make it difficult for survivors to speak up or stand up for themselves. Lack of supports and misunderstandings make victims take all responsibilities of abuse on their own hands.
The worst, after the abuse, survivors are those who need to forgive and forget even though it’s impossible in many of cases. Once again we put extra burden on their shoulders and give permissions for abusers to escape from their faults, saying something like, well…he / she didn’t mean to do this. That’s terrible.
Have you ever behave in similar way? Please comment and share this post so more people aware what’s our unconscious behavior lead us to.
Admire people who have been through a lot and still keep their head up.
Head Up! Even though you are going through a tough time.
This is a must attitude during healing journey.
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Strong women wear their pain like stilettos,
no matter how much it hurts, all you see is the beauty of it.
No doubt live is tough especially when you are struggling in something that bothering you, or dealing with all emotional baggage that carried from the past.
But let’s try, stand tall and “act” like a sexy bitch before we enter any rooms, to conquer our fear.
Are you strong? mentally tough?
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